Possibly one of the strangest things about college is moving home for the summer. Nearly everyone will do it at least one year, and it can be a weird time for both the student and their parent(s). College has become the students' temporary home, and they're uneasy about how things will change with their family now that they've been on their own for nine months. Parents are excited to have their child back home again, but they're probably uneasy about how their student is going to adjust to being back. The transition home doesn't have to be a difficult one, but it takes work from both sides to make it as smooth as possible.
1. Your family gets into a routine without you.
You mean their lives don't suddenly stop because I'm not home? This one is especially true when you have younger siblings. They no longer need rides to practices. Your younger sister somehow learned how to do laundry while you were gone. Your dog doesn't automatically go to your bed at night anymore. Your family has found ways to make things work without you around. It can be kind of awkward, and I know I felt pretty useless during Christmas break, and it only gets worse during the summer. The best thing you can do is offer to help out every once in awhile and get yourself involved in the family again. It's not that they don't want your help, it's just that they had to figure out a way to make it work without you.
2. You feel guilty for going out and doing your own thing.
All year, you went out with your friends whenever you wanted to. You left your dorm room at two in the morning to go get pizza and you stayed up until the sun came up just because you could. Suddenly, after going home, you have family members to worry about again. You can't be loud after a certain time, and you get questioned for having plans that involve leaving the house after 10 p.m. Your family has dinner together, but you really just want to go out for a couple of hours. Just find a happy medium. Be home for the big things, check in every so often, but don't feel like you have to sit at home because you're only around again for a few months.
3. "Yay, summer!..." "I'm so bored already!"
You don't have a million things going on every day anymore, and you don't have a campus full of activities to fill your time with. You sit around at home or at work all day every day instead of attending school events, sports games, and meals with your friends. Your schedule is no longer packed with everything you can fit into it. Seriously, how did we ever get through summer in high school? This is so boring!
4. You didn't completely unpack because it's only for three months.
It's like going on vacation and not unpacking because you'll only be there for a few days. You never really let yourself feel at home, because you secretly want the summer to fly by.
5. Your parents don't think you've grown up.
This can be the most frustrating part. The problem is, they don't see you when you have to be independent, so it feels like you haven't really changed at all. When you're home, you have your parents to fall back on. When you're away at college, you have to get yourself up in the morning for class, make time for meals in between everything else in your schedule, and still somehow fit in time for a social life a few days out of the week. You don't have to do that during the summer, so they won't really understand just how grown up you've gotten.
6. Your friends are hours away now.
Sure, your high school friends are around, but that's just not the same. They're not the roommate who slept five feet away from you. They didn't sit up all night with you when you got really sick for the first time away from home (how come nobody ever told you that the flu spreads like a wildfire in dorms?) and they aren't the person you called when you were stressed over finals. You want to enjoy being home, but a huge part of you just wishes you were back in your dirty laundry-filled, jail-cell looking dorm room watching "Grey's Anatomy" with the friends you've spent your freshman year with.
7. Your parents want to know where you are. And whom you're with. All the time.
While this can feel like a huge burden to explain yourself after being on your own the past year, it's important to remember that your parents are still your parents. You may have gone out for two days at a time without checking in with your roommate, but parents aren't roommates. They still worry, and they just want to make sure you're safe. It doesn't have to be a big deal, but if you're going out somewhere, just text them. Tell them you'll be back around 2 a.m. to soothe their fears.
8. You accidentally refer to your college as "home."
"Wait, was I supposed to say that? I totally meant school. Not home. Sorry, Mom and Dad..."
9. You think to yourself "I'm never going home for the summer again!"
Yeah, we all do it. We get mad at our parents one time and swear that we're getting our own apartment next summer and never going back for more than a few days at a time. That may even be true, but a part of you will always miss home. You love your parents and your siblings, but it's hard to be home after living with your friends and focusing on yourself for a year.
Whether you loved being there or not, moving home will always be a hard transition. It's never quite the same as it was the summer before you left for college, but you know you'll always sort of miss it. The time really flies after your freshman year of school. While you're pumped to get back into your routine of waking up five minutes before your 10 a.m. class, staying up way too late doing nothing, and eating ungodly amounts of cheap takeout with your friends again, there really is nothing quite like coming back to home-cooked meals, pets that can never get enough cuddling, and a family that loves you.
"Other things may change, but we start and end with family." --Anthony Brandt
