As the summer draws to an end and we all return to our baccalaureate-granting homes, I believe we have a duty as upperclassmen to let the incoming freshmen in on each of our own specific campus's tips and tricks of surviving and enjoying the undergrad years. And, you know, what better way to list nine of the most important things to remember when joining Ashland University's campus than through a help list paired with the best Spongebob moments?

1.) If you know what's good for you, do NOT fall too hard for the first guy or girl that shows interest in you.

I don't know why this phenomenon occurs, but I know at least ten people who dated somebody they never would've even considered dating had they not let the excitement of being in a new place and meeting new people influence their decision to date the first person they met. It happened to me; I met him at the interest fair on welcome weekend, and by the time month two rolled around, we found we had absolutely nothing in common. We both felt like we'd wasted our time not meeting other people from hanging out in our rooms all the time. So get out and go to the interest meetings and don't waste as much time on the first person you meet as Spongebob did writing his essay.

2.) Don't slack off in your core classes.

They may seem pointless in many aspects, but those extra credit hours and easy A's will be your saving grace if you end up doing poorly in a class or two later on; the GPA cushion will help soften the blow of a D or an F in an incredibly difficult class your sophomore year.

Then you won't be screaming to yourself internally, "WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS..." because I'm not even joking when I say that I did that during an exam I didn't study for (more than once) in Elementary Statistics.

3.) For the love of all that is good, do you best to not drop your tray in Convo.

I only dropped a glass once, and when it shattered, people stopped. And stared. And pointed. And clapped...a lot.

... enough said, fam.

4.) Only schedule breaks in between classes if you're not the sort of person to sleep through your entire life.

You may think a two-hour break between your 1:30 and 3:30 classes is a good plan, but I can guarantee if you're all snuggled up in bed all the way over in Amstutz, you are NOT going to want to walk all the way to Schar for your last class of the day...like, ever. So it's better to power through a back-to-back schedule.

You can do it, even if it feels worse than Mrs. Puff standing on your head, forcing you to take a test.

5.) Don't make daily trips to Fat Bar, as enticing as it may be.

They don't call it the Freshman 30 at Ashland for nothing.

It'll go straight to your thighs.

And then you'll blow up.

6.) Be prepared to make closer friends than you've ever had.

Chances are, with how small the classes are at AU, and especially if you're in the same major, your friends will be the sorts of people you'll make your bridesmaids and groomsmen at your wedding. They're the ones who will pull countless all-nighters with you, they'll most likely be there when you make your worst mistakes, and they'll be the person you're texting in class when you probably should be paying a whole lot more attention.

7.) Don't tell just anybody what you did on the weekend.

Our campus is made up of about 2,500 students, which is the size of many high schools. And regardless of whether or not you think your business won't get around, I can almost promise you that it will if you tell more than two people what happened at Riley's last night.

Then you won't feel like this when you get sideways looks in class,

And then you won't feel like doing this later.

8.) Even though it'll be early in the morning or late at night, go to Dauch, Patterson, or Schar (or really anywhere with solid internet connection) for scheduling.

Don't make the mistake of using the horrible campus WiFi during scheduling. And definitely don't assume you'll get into a class if you didn't already manually select it on WebAdvisor because 1, you're a freshman so you get the last of the pickings, and 2, the system likes to crash because everyone clicks the submit button at the exact same moment. So even if you have to wake up before putting your brows on and walk to Dauch at 7 a.m. for scheduling, you'll be happy when you get 5 out of 6 of your hopeful classes.

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9.) Do realize that the majority of professors at this institution care about your success, so don't squander your time here; learn as much as you can.

Realize that all the money you're paying to attend this private university should mean something. Never had I looked up to educators the way I do now before attending Ashland. For the most part, these educators want to see you succeed in your field of study. Ask questions and be close with your advisor(s). You won't always have the resources you'll come to find on this campus, so make the most of your education. And most importantly, love what you're doing. You're apt to find and chase your real passions at this place.

So get out there and do what you're meant to do!