A little backstory: If you saw me with my parents, you would probably never guess I was adopted when I was five weeks old; my mom and I are practically twins with our blue eyes, fair skin, and short light hair. My parents have never kept the fact I was adopted a secret from me, so I’ve always been pretty comfortable talking about it to friends and curious acquaintances. Here is a list of the nine most common questions I’ve received and my thoughts on them:

“You’re adopted? I would’ve never guessed!”

To be honest, it would be slightly weird if you had guessed. Also, am I supposed to say thank you?

“Who is your real mom?”

...as in the one who raised me? Yeah, she’s real! If you’re inquiring about my birth mom, then I’ve got a different answer for you. While most adoptees don’t seek out their birth parents, some do. But whoever my biological mother is, she doesn’t define my identity.

“Where are you from? I mean, what country?”

Fact: my mom is not Angelina Jolie. I was actually born about two hours away from the town I’ve lived in my whole life, not some small country that requires a plane ride to enter. Assuming that being adopted means you have to be from a foreign country can be pretty demeaning. According to Child Welfare Services, there were over 400,000 children in foster care in 2013. The U.S. has thousands of children waiting to be adopted, just like any other country.

"Why do you not look like your parents?"

Personally, I’ve never been asked this question, but I do know people of different ethnicity than their parents who have had to answer this one, and they usually have to take a deep breath before answering. Having questions about adoption is completely acceptable, but common sense is your friend! Need I say more?

"Your biological mother must’ve been so pretty!"

Is this a compliment? Should I say thank you? I get you’re trying to compliment me on my genetics, but this is just really awkward. Don’t try to be witty, just get to the point.

"When did your parents tell you you were adopted?"

This is different for everyone, so don't be afraid to ask! Personally, I've always known, so it's been my go-to fun fact for as long as I can remember.

"Do you ever want to find your parents?”

Once again, my parents are the ones who raised me. This exact question regarding birth parents has been pondered upon by all adoptees. It’s an extremely personal question, so unless you’re close with the individual you should probably just leave this one alone.

“Do you ever wish you were not given up for adoption?”

Wow, another personal question! Adoption usually occurs in sensitive situations, so it’s best to take a pass on asking this. This question also translates into “Do you wish you had different parents?” While everyone has different experiences, the most common answer would be no. Your life would be completely different in every aspect. My parents are the greatest people I know, and bringing a baby into their life was one of the most selfless acts they could’ve done. Without them, I wouldn’t be anything like the person I am today.

“Do you ever wonder about where you’re from?”

YES! How could you not wonder? I remember being in elementary school and my friends were comparing heritages, while I sat listening, trying to imagine where my ancestors had lived. Although I have my medical history, I don’t have my genetic background, meaning I don’t know where my nose came from or why I’m just a little over five feet tall. When people tell me “You look just like your mom," I just laugh nervously and go on with my day. DNA tests like the ones from Ancestry.com or 23andMe have become widely available, so if you’re like me and wanted to find your ethnicity, these are great resources.

Of course, not everyone shares the same feelings. When my friends ask me about my history, I’m completely honest and don’t make a big deal out of it because to me, it isn’t. The important thing for anyone inquiring about adoption is to be respectful and avoid ignorance.