I went to go visit my wedding venue last weekend! Well, actually it’s the church where my fiancé and I will be getting married in less than 100 days! Fun fact: wedding venues are expensive. Though my skill in deal-finding is pretty good, two people with big families and large church families need more space than what the average wedding venue will give [or they will simply charge you the life of your firstborn child]. So, my dad knew the pastor of a church on the coast, I called the church office, stalked Facebook photos of the church and went ahead planning my wedding at a place I’d never seen in person. Maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had, but I’m actually pretty please with it. Here are a few things I learned.

1. Keep up!

Because we’re getting married at a church, my fiancé and I were showed the facility by the pastor. We both really appreciated him taking the time to show us around, but some people have so much energy I just can’t keep up! This obviously wouldn’t be consistent with all wedding venues; however, effective note-taking is always important. Because the information came at me so quickly I took notes as fast as I could and filled them in immediately after our appointment was after.

2. Come prepared

Have a list of questions you want answered already prepared. You will forget important details in the moment so be sure to write down all the essentials before you head in for a tour. Reference the list at least once before you leave to make sure you have the information you need.

3. Ask what options are available

I know you might have thought long and hard about what exactly you want the ceremony or reception to look like, but there are likely options you haven’t even thought of. Because we’re at a church, I asked how they typically set up for weddings in order to get a better idea of what would be best. The pastor told us there were multiple ways to set up the space and offered a few that I hadn’t even realized were possible.

4. Ask the hard questions

I don’t like asking about prices or even worse, asking for discounts. That being said, this is business. Make sure you thoroughly understand what you’re getting for your money before you sign a contract or write a check. This is pretty much true for everything in life as well.

5. Take pictures

A lot of venues will have photos to refer to posted on their website, but as we’re getting married at a church I didn’t really know what things looked like from a photography standpoint before visiting. I was pretty pleased to find my Facebook stalking paid off and the space is actually really nice.

6. Consider transportation

Because our venue is about an hour away (depending on traffic) transporting not just people, but decorations, luggage, the dress (!) is a huge factor in our planning process. Ask the a coordinator at the venue how much of their stuff you can use to cut down on transporting everything.

7. Search out places for pictures

I'm not a photographer and I definitely don't have the best eye for lighting. That being said, go ahead and figure out where you'd like to get some pictures taken on the day of the big event. This will help give you a better idea of poses you might like or lighting that may be available.

8. Debrief!

Debrief with your fiancé as soon as possible! Obviously, this is helping practice those healthy communication skills needed for marriage, but it also helps the planning process. I know what he wants; he knows what I want, and neither of us get too attached to a particular thing before realizing it won’t work.

9. Take a minute to slow down

You're getting married! Take some time, even just a few minutes, to recognize you just saw the place you'll be making vows and signing a marriage license with the person you love. That's a big deal! Weddings and stress seem to go hand in hand, but they don't have to. Enjoy the season, as messy as it can be.

I’m sure this list will become much more comprehensive as the actually wedding day gets closer. As with any wedding, unexpected things will pop up and I’ll be learning even the day of the big event, but that’s alright. It’s all about the journey, right?