Last winter, I didn't have an album or a favorite song to jam to, so I started listening to Indy's pop stations when I drove. Rather frequently, I found myself hearing this electronically remixed song with a fun beat. The chorus was easy to pick up on, so I found myself singing along to it quickly.
It wasn't until the third or fourth time that I heard it that I began to pick up on the heaviness of the lyrics. This was not some song about being at a party, falling in love, or sex; this was a reflection on years of a life. I googled the lyrics the next chance I had and discovered that the peppy song with the deep lyrics was called "I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Seeb Remix)" by Mike Posner.
(There's also an acoustic version of the song, which is 10 times better in my humble opinion)
After that moment, I was sold. His new song was profoundly different from the ones I heard in middle school. I proceeded to buy every piece of music of his I could and listened to them constantly for months. I still go back to them. I followed his social media and read the things he posted. That's how I discovered his Medium page, which made me love him even more than I already did. He seemed so mature and down to earth for someone in Hollywood, touring the world. The more I read and heard from him, the more I realized I was learning from him in ways that I had never learned from any other artist before.
The song that started it all, "I Took a Pill in Ibiza," was nominated for a Grammy, so in its, and Mike's honor, I thought I would compile a list of some of the things that I've learned from him over the last year (almost).
1. Don't let your identity get wrapped up in where you are in your life.
Mike went from being a "college student to class B celebrity to nobody to kinda sorta famous again." He lost himself in his first round of fame, as any human is prone to do. But it's not just fame you can lose yourself to; it could be a job, a role, an activity, an adjective that others use to describe you / you use to describe yourself. It is so easy to forget all the other things you are or even who you truly are when you've got a million other voices whispering in your ear. It's important to separate who you are from what you do or where you are at in your life. Those things change, but the fundamental parts of you don't.
2. Be as you are.
Just listen to the song and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's okay to fail, it's okay to admit that you are struggling, it's okay to not be the person people want you to be or the person you were a year ago. It's part of growing and that's a good thing.
3. The "party" has to stop sometime.
Mike stopped drinking in 2012 because he realized that the daylong "grey malaise" caused by a hangover was not worth a few hours of drinking the night before. At some point, this is going to ring true for you. Maybe it won't be drinking, but you're going to realize that someone, something is causing a "grey malaise," making you miss out on things or causing you more trouble than it or they are worse. You're going to need to let go.
4. You're going to get old and it's okay.
Mike found a gray hair at 28. I found one at 19. I freaked out. I have friends getting married and I'm still alone. I freaked out. Babies that I held for the first time in high school are now two and a half, telling me crazy stories when I go home, and giving me the biggest hugs and smiles. I freaked out. I don't want to get old. I don't want to blink and be 50 with half of my life behind me. I don't want wrinkles and menopause and grandkids. Those things are all a long way off, but it took making peace with the fact that aging is a good thing to fully grasp that. I want to live, not die and forever be a half-adult. To properly do that, I need the gray hair and the children to give me grandkids. Getting old is not a bad thing. It means you've lived.
5. Take care of you.
Mike got fed up with the life he was living a few years ago. So...he sold all of his things, bought a van, and traveled around the United States in it. To this day, I am still inspired by the courage and strength it took to do that. He did what he needed to do to care for his soul and reclaim himself as a person instead of wallowing away in misery. If that is not brave then I don't know what is. But it shouldn't be. People taking care of themselves shouldn't be something that is seen as brave; it should be seen as good. Heck, it should be required. Sometimes you need to recenter yourself and you should be able to do it without it being seen as a bold, strange, or courageous act. It's important. You might lose yourself otherwise.
6. You don't need to have the last word.
Zara Larsson had the audacity to hate on my homie earlier this year on Twitter. He wrote a post about it and talked about his initial feelings. He wanted to lash out at her in return and probably start a crapload of Twitter beef. But he didn't because he didn't want her to feel the things he was feeling. People have enough critics, they don't need one more. It's an important thing to remember when you feel a desire to retaliate. Do you really want anyone else feeling how you feel? Especially if it's because of you? Bite your tongue. They probably get enough crap from others.
7. Don't chase something in life just because someone else told you that you should.
People have been telling me things my whole life. If I had listened to everything they'd said...I wouldn't have any idea who I am. I wouldn't have pursued the things I loved or possessed the strength I have today. I wouldn't have a passion. I wouldn't be able to work toward happiness. I would be stuck. Just because everyone else is into something or wants something for you doesn't mean that you have to follow the crowd. Do you. Having the approval of a group of people (or having famous girls like you) is not the most important thing in life. Being yourself, doing what you want to do, and being happy are.
8. Some music sounds best at night, alone.
Never has an album resonated with me more than Mike's "At Night, Alone" when I listened to it for the first time at night and alone. Music hits you differently in different situations, moods, and points in your life. Try listening to your favorite songs at 12:30am while you're in your bed, in the dark, and completely alone. They'll sound different, maybe even better than they do coming through your earbuds or car stereo.
9. Good things can come out of Duke University.
I know I should've always believed this since I indirectly came out of Duke (my parents met there 27 years ago), but when a school sends you a rejection letter, it's hard to remember that anything good could happen there. However, Mike graduated from Duke and I'm sure his time there produced some of the songs that I love. Without Duke, there wouldn't be the Mike I listen to, and that would just be plain sad. Even though I've got to be a die-hard University of North Carolina fan for life now, much to my dad's chagrin, it is nice to remember that there is a bright spot in the history of a place that hurt me. (Okay, maybe more than one bright spot.)
You can learn from anyone and anything if you keep your mind open enough. Thank you, Mike, for being one of those people that spread a positive message and lessons worth learning.
