In 2017, I both gained and lost twenty pounds. I started 2017 as a freshman struggling with classes, friends, and my relationship. When I ended my relationship in September of 2017, I decided that enough was enough. I started to keep track of what I was eating— calories, protein, fat, sugars, etc.—and how many calories I burned throughout the day (s/o to my Fitbit). Here are 9 things I learned after losing twenty pounds that I want everyone struggling with their weight to know.

1. Your weight does not define you

When I was fourteen years old, I was 30 pounds underweight. Heading into sophomore year of college, I was 20 pounds heavier than the weight at which I felt most healthy and comfortable. I was no less of a person when I was a little bit pokey with my bones or a little softer around the edges.

2. If you are unhappy, taking off the weight will make a difference

People absolutely do not need to lose weight unless they have resulting medical issues brought up their doctor. In my situation, I was concerned about the weight that I had gained as a result of unhealthy eating. After talking to my doctor, I made conscious decisions to say no to dessert and take the long walk to class.

3. Your support system can make a huge difference

I made the decision to only talk to close friends and family about my weight loss while I was going through it. Since I am taller, I can gain and lose weight without people noticing quickly. Posting my transformation picture on Twitter was exhilarating. For weeks, friends and family were commenting that I looked healthy and was glowing. These were things that I already told myself, but hearing them from people I didn’t talk to regularly was a real confidence booster.

4. It takes dedication

Cutting back on desserts was no easy task. I had to consciously keep snack food out of my room, and eat everything junk-related in moderation. I walked to every class, no matter how badly I wanted to just hop on the bus. I had to walk uphill to get to main campus, so it took a lot of determination (and, frankly, panting) to make this happen. Doing this, I ended up walking about two to three miles every day #bigcampusperks.

6. Even with a history of disordered eating, weight loss is possible

Since I have a history of disordered eating, I knew I had to talked to my doctor to make sure I had a healthy plan in place. My fear of relapse is how I justified unhealthy eating and continued to put off losing the weight. On days I wanted to skip a meal to get ahead, I asked friends to get dinner with me. Eating with friends helped me through recovery the first time, so I knew it would help me keep my eyes on the prize: being healthy.

7. The gym is not necessary

I don’t enjoy the elliptical, so I only went to the gym twice. This is proof that there is no one-size-fits-all weight loss plan. There is no magical pill, diet plan, or exercise regimen that is going to cause an instant and healthy drop in weight. You have to find healthy methods that work for you. It’s going to take time, and it won’t be perfect. On the other hand, if you want to build muscle tone, that might be harder to do without the gym.

8. It may make you happier, but it won’t fix all of your problems

My weight loss has made me feel more like myself, and my body feels more natural at this weight. I still struggle with bouts of depression and anxiety. Some days I want to eat nothing, and some days I want to eat everything in the kitchen. Even though I’m down two dress sizes, I still have issues with friends and relationships just like before and just like everyone else.

9. Life happens

Losing and gaining weight are a pretty common side effect of life. I’ve learned to not sweat if I’m up or down a couple pounds, but to notice trends in eating and exercise. If you are struggling with your weight, talk to your doctor, build a support system, and start with small changes. Remember that you are beautiful, and continue to develop your hobbies and passions. Your happiness will radiate, and that’s what people will remember you for.