Finish (or even start) my summer reading list

As a college graduate, something that every professor and administrator suggested that I continue to do is read (Like I supposedly did in their classes LOL), because you know, learning. So in April I compiled a list of eight books that I thought I could finish by the end of August. Authors ranged anywhere from Dave Ramsey to C.S. Lewis.

Instead, Netflix.

But come on, have you seen "Stranger Things"? Way more important! And as my pastor always says, we give up things we love for things we love more…

Indiana State Fair

This one is legit. I LOVE the Indiana State Fair. So much better than the Ohio State Fair. By FAR. I tried getting my fill with county fairs, but it just didn’t cut it.

On top of that, one of my best friends went on our traditional pineapple whip excursion without me… But I’m not salty.

I’m bitter.

Get on a regular workout routine

From my older days, but still a more accurate depiction of what happened...

Granted, exercise is something that is on my list no matter the season. I guess I just perceive summer to be a little less hectic so I trick myself into believing that I can make time to be really committed. But then I take a step outside and feel like I’m covered in raw eggs because its 1000 degrees with 10,000 percent humidity. I’d rather just stay inside with a bowl of (sugar free) ice cream and read some fan theories about what season two of Stranger Things is going to be like.

Deep clean my truck

Pure laziness, no explanation needed. And besides, that old bag of Hardees doubles as an air freshener…

Tecumseh

For those of you who don’t know where Chillicothe, Ohio is, the city really is a gem. The once proud capital of Ohio was demoted for reasons I could only assume are related to its smell, which is often described as a herd of wet dogs visiting a port-a-potty convention.

Once you can tolerate that, you might want to check out the awesome outdoor drama called Tecumseh. It is a historical play about the Native Americans who once inhabited the land that we decided was better off being a massive strip of fast food restaurants. Really the only reason I didn’t see it this year is because someone else has always taken me and paid for my ticket.

Secret guys, I’m kind of cheap.

Ride my bike more than twice

I think I’m allergic to cardio guys…

Every time I try it I get sweaty and start to turn red.

Learn woodwork

Netflix had its benefits. Somewhere in mid-June I finally finished up Parks and Recreation, and Ron Swanson, the quintessential manly Director of the Pawnee Parks Department, inspired me. Unfortunately, when it came time to actually do something, I didn’t because I only own a baby hammer that is still borrowed from a girl I was friends with in college.

Instead, I tried Swanson’s Turf-n-Turf meal plan, like, every day (Just two porterhouse steaks lightly seasoned).

Beef Heaven.

Care about the Olympics

This one, I have to say, is only because of deeply rooted jealousy that has harbored in my heart because of my inability to commit to something as intensely as these athletes have. Not to mention that they get to go to an exotic foreign country while I wander around hunting Pokémon in downtown Lancaster during my lunch break.

But I caught a Zapdos, which is kind of like a gold medal, right?

….Also, I didn’t catch one L

Go to a water park

THE ONE TIME I DO WATCH THE GAMES... Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte.