No one is good at first dates. There is not a person in the world who never gets nervous over meeting someone new in a romantic context. We all go through this crazy process as we try to meet someone to do this whole life thing with. I interviewed three people and added my own comments, to give a full first date experience.
1. The ask
Maybe he asks, maybe she asks. Whoever does it, it's important. My last date was just a simple, "Do you wanna hang out?" Maybe the ask involves a full detailed plan. No matter what, it's exhilarating to know someone wants to spend time with you.
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Person A: I met my date online. We talked for a while, and then he asked me to go see a movie.
Person B: We knew each other from church and snapchatted occasionally. He got my number from his sister and asked me if he could cook me dinner.
Person C: I actually asked him out! I was interested in him, so I asked him to meet up. We had tried to meet up before, but due to his work schedule we had trouble finding a convenient time.
2. Getting ready
Getting ready for a date is one of the hardest parts. You don’t want to overdo it, but you want to look nice. I went to my date straight from work, so I only had time to briefly touch up my makeup.
Person A: I tried to look cute for this date, because I really wanted to impress him! I wore a dress and got ready at home.
Person B: My sister bought me a new outfit just for this date. I was running a little late due to lacrosse practice, so I basically just showered and put on the dress.
Person C: For this date, I had to sneak out of my parent’s house. So, I was wearing shorts and a tshirt, but changed into a tank top in the car.
3. Waiting
Usually, someone ends up waiting on their date. One of you is bound to arrive first and either sit in your car or stand and wait until the other date arrives. On my last date, I ended up waiting for about twenty minutes until he showed up. Fortunately, not everyone has to wait.
Person A: My date and I pulled into the parking lot at almost the same time, so I did not have to wait.
Person B: I drove to my date’s house where he was making dinner. He was the one waiting for me. I’m STILL proud of myself for not getting lost.
Person C: My date lived across town, so I drove to his house.
4. Meeting up
Your date walks in. This moment is so exciting. You’ve been waiting to see them and get things started, and it’s finally time to begin. Sometimes you’re disappointed with what they end up being like, but sometimes you’re so excited you can’t breathe.
Person A: He was at the ticket booth when I walked up. I was nervous, but he was very excited and that calmed my nerves.
Person B: I walked into his house and he surprised me with roses.
Person C: I parked in the wrong spot, so he had to tell me to move my car. I jumped out of the car and hugged him really big.
5. Small talk
Things might be a little awkward at first. You talk about the weather, about the place you’re at, about work. This doesn’t last forever. Be bold, make the discussion serious. On my date, we never really moved past the small talk. Actually, we talked about Moana a lot more than necessary.
Person A: We made small talk on our way into the theatre and as we waited for the movie to start. He was a little weirdly forward, even through the small talk.
Person B: My senior prom was coming up, so we talked about that a little. Even though he had offered to cook, he asked me for tips the whole time!
Person C: We hung out in his room and talked a little bit. We watched some YouTube videos.
6. Real talk
If you get to this, the date is probably going well. Real talk is what bonds us together. We need to know everything about someone to make sure we still like them and what to be with them.
Person A: Since we were seeing a movie, we didn’t have much room for talking too deeply.
Person B: We didn’t really talk about anything serious.
Person C: Mostly, we kept everything pretty light. I was nervous, so I talked a lot. What I said might have gotten a little real. We had similar senses of humor so that made the night go smoothly.
7. The goodbye
Do you hug? Do you kiss? My date tried to shake my hand. I hugged him, but it was weird. There was no mention of a second date.
Person A: Our goodbye was delayed, because I went home with him after the movie. During the goodbye, he mentioned hanging out again.
Person B: He walked me to my car and kissed me. While he was kissing me, his mom opened the garage door! It was so embarrassing.
Person C: We had so much fun that I didn’t actually leave until about five in the morning. He asked me to text him, and I did. My parents never found out!
8. The after math
This can be a very stressful part of the process. You either text your date or wait for them to text you. This is where you really break down your feelings. Did you enjoy yourself? If so, reach out to them! My date did text me afterwards telling me he had a good time, but unfortunately the feeling was not mutual. It’s never nice to ghost someone, so if you can bear it at all you should at least let a bad date down easy!
Person A: We talked a little bit after the first date. Things weren’t awkward, but we both knew nothing would be serious.
Person B: I saw him at church the next day. He sat with me and my family. It was weird.
Person C: We texted all day the next day and went out that night as well!
9. The second date (?)
Sometimes you don’t get a second date. I did not have a great time, so I chose not to go out with my date again. Sometimes you have a second date, but it ends soon after that. The goal is to always want to have another date. We’ll all get there some day, if that’s what we want.
Person A: We did have a second date, but it was a lot more casual. There was not a third date.
Person B: We went on a sort of second date to a mutual friend’s graduation. He gave me a necklace and asked me to be his girlfriend. We dated for about three months, but broke up because he said he wanted to marry me. I did not want the same.
Person C: The second date was the next night. We went to a movie and then sat in his car and just talked for a long time. I already knew I really liked him, because we talked about how I went to school in a different state and we both got upset. We’ve now been together for seven and a half months!
