The 9 Stages of the Last Week of Classes | The Odyssey Online
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Student Life

The 9 Stages of the Last Week of Classes

Did you survive?

Zsofia Cohen
Dec 05, 2016
University of Tulsa
19
The 9 Stages of the Last Week of Classes

Stage 1: Ignorance is Bliss
It's Thanksgiving Break. You're having a good time, relaxing with family and friends. You're in a world (temporarily) absent of responsibility. The backpack full of books you brought home with the intention of working on upcoming assignments has yet to be unzipped. I'll do it tomorrow, I tell myself. And then tomorrow happens. Again and again. Until it's Sunday, you're back on campus, and the last week of classes starts tomorrow.

Stage 2: The Daunting To-Do List
You sit down with your planner. You write up all the assignments, papers, exams, projects, and presentations you have due by the end of the week. You cap your pen, post your to-do list in a visible place, get back in bed, wipe a tear off your cheek as result of your future demise, and continue procrastinating with Netflix.

Stage 3: Motivation
It's Monday or Tuesday. You've gone to your classes, and now you need to muster up the courage to go to the library and start checking items off your to-do list. Yes, you'll be miserable in there, but you'll be even more miserable 24-48 hours from now, when you still don't have anything done.
NOTE:
Bribery may be used, depending on severity.
Advisable to find trustworthy friend to drag you to library, no questions asked.

Stage 4: Cue Panic
Time is ticking. No reasonable progress has been made. You weigh your options and create backup plans. Do I really need this degree?

Stage 5: Death, Despair, and Chaos Have Entered my Life
Yes, I do need this degree. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to crawl into a hole (read: occupy a seat at the library) for 7 hours. Maybe more.

Stage 6: Am I Still Alive?
After several 8 hour stretches at the library and significantly less sleep than recommended, delusion or delirium may set in. You will wonder if you're still a functioning human being. Your soul may exit your body.

Stage 7: The Light at the End of the Tunnel
It's Friday morning. You have one exam and one presentation left on your to-do list, and then it's the weekend. This is the final push. Think of how happy you'll be in 4 hours.

Stage 8: (Temporary) Relief
You walk out of your last class on Friday, stretch your arms up to the heavens, then fall and kiss the ground (read: crawl into bed and nap for 5 hours).

Stage 9: Repeat
And then you do it all again, next week. But this time, final exams.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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