Public school tends to get a bad reputation, but for a lot of people, including myself, it was just a natural part of life. Only after leaving the public school system did I start to notice some of the differences between my school experience and the experiences of some of my friends who went to a private school.
1. No fancy foods for us
Who would have thought there were so many different ways to ruin pizza? Square pizza, pizza boats, awkward gooey "stuffed crust" pizza, the plastic cheese? We are a dishonor to the name of pizza everywhere. Don't look at us, Italy. Just don't look.
2. Packed bus rides
If you have ever been crammed, three to a seat, in a rowdy school bus filled with caffeinated children and angsty teens, then you may have gone to a public school. There is truly no worse way to start your day than to walk 5-10 minutes in the snow to your bus stop, only to be stuffed in this over glorified, Axe-ridden, yellow sardine can that they call a school bus.
To make things worse, there were always "those" people in the back of the bus who saw fit to throw food or little bits of paper towards the people in the front. Then there were the kissy couples in the middle who never came up for air, the snot-nosed second-grader who wouldn't stop poking you, and the clique of "superstars" who screamed the lyrics to the most popular song on the radio at that time. Mix that all together for about twenty minutes and you have daily headaches and emotional scarring that will never go away.
3. "Dress Code"
If you went to a public school, you probably did not have to wear a uniform (holla!), which means that your classmates were free to "express themselves." Of course, you probably had the Fingertip Rule or the No Tanktop or Hat Rule, but were those rules really enforced? Probs not. So, in this beautifully chaotic fray that we call school, you would see anything from heels and miniskirts to sweats and baggy T-shirts. But you can bet, if you did wear sweats, you spent a lot of time making sure you look #effortless.
Basically, anything goes. To some this may seem like the starting point of anarchy and this generation's downfall, but, to us, this is freedom of expression and we wouldn't have it any other way.
4. Big class size
If you went to a public school, chances are your class size was usually at least 20-30 students, if not more. Now, one of two things could come out of this situation. Either it was complete anarchy and riots in the street (sort of) or there were enough people and brains to disguise yourself so that you would not have to participate, if you played it right. And isn't that the dream?
5. Hallway fights
Odds are, if you went to a high school like mine, you have probably seen at least one fight go down in the hallways. And if you are as lucky as I was, you saw a fight in the lunch line on your first day freshman year. Yeah. That wasn't traumatic or anything.
6. The hallway smell
I pray that you were fortunate enough to have avoided this particular level of Hell, but if you didn't you know what smell I'm talking about. That lovely combination of Axe, Fruit-scented perfume, and B.O. that permeated every inch of those most dreaded freshmen hallways. You know the smell. You fear the smell.
7. Pregnancy and drugs
Stick 1,200 teenagers in the middle of a corn field and you know something is going to go down. There aren't very many big cities where I am from so, entertainment options are limited to going to the Elementary school playground, smoking weed, or getting pregnant. It was no surprise, then, when at least two girls, if not more, got pregnant each school year. Not a good life choice.
8. Football games and rivalry
Since about 95 percent of the school's funding was going to the sports teams (no bitterness here), football is sort of a big deal for people, and, when there is literally nothing else to do, football becomes your Friday night plans. And then you always have that "one" school that you hated based on sheer proximity, so that was basically the highlight of the week when those games rolled around. Heaven forbid anyone sees you wearing the other team's colors—you will get mugged.
9. Inexplicable school pride
And, for some odd reason, after years and years in this school system, you grow to love it. Call it what you will—Stockholm Syndrome, mercy, heart-numbing nostalgia—you actually sort of miss being there once you leave. Because despite its obvious faults, that school is yours and the weirdos inside it are yours and the crazy memories that turn into future therapy sessions are yours.
And you wouldn't have it any other way.
