I recently made the spontaneous decision to purchase a ukulele to learn to play in my spare time. I am not at all embarrassed to say I am far more impressed with what my tiny ukulele has to offer me as opposed to any silly boy. So much so that I can't help but think of reasons why boys are inferior to the beautiful brown curves of my uke. And while I could bore you with a list of fifty reasons, I'll narrow it down to only nine.

1. Ukuleles are straightforward, what you see is what you get.

While the sizes may change, I know I can always count on ukes to be exactly what they are and nothing less.

2. Ukuleles spew beautiful melodies, not lies.

Most of the time when pretty words leave boys mouths it's all lies. "Not I", says the ukulele.

3. Ukuleles soothe your soul, and never strain it.

As opposed to making you feel anything less than worthy, the magical sound of ukes have a way of making all the hurt leave and bringing in happiness into your heart. See, how this girl is all smiles and no boys -- coincidence? I think not.

4. Ukuleles can be put away when you need alone time to yourself.

And they don't blow up your phone when you have very clearly stated for the night that you would much rather handle your problems with some nice peace and quiet.

5. Ukuleles don't get jealous.

They get that sometimes you want to play on your guitar, or piano, or watch Netflix rather than even play at all. They're all like, "you do you girl, and I'll sit here and admire you from afar".

6. Ukuleles don't have boring, pointless conversations with you.

Unlike Brad who is capable of having only superficial conversations with you, ukes are able to have really any song played on them which is like a new, fascinating topic every time.

7. Ukuleles don't mind spending time with you.

Ukes don't play that "I'm going to make this girl feel clingy" game and ignore you when you want them around. They love your attention and you.

8. Ukuleles love romantic trips to flowery areas.

Seriously, look how content this little guy looks. More content than that boy that doesn't text you back.

9. If you listen closely, every beautiful strum is your ukulele saying "I love you."

Or it may as well be, because if love were music it would be in the form of ukulele chords being played.