I know you all are wondering why in the world anyone in the right mind would want to go to a private university deep in the heart of Texas. Ugh. I know. Sounds horrible right? I'm here to tell you why you should definitely, positively NOT go to Texas Christian University.

1. The campus. It's just so hideous. Shield your eyes, young ones. It just hurts to look at.

2. Sports? What are those? TCU is just all around horrible at all things sports. If you like sports please don't go here.

3. The city is so boring. Nothing to do. Ever. It's basically a ghost town!

4. The dorms are basically prisons. You barely have room to stretch your legs out!

5. There's nothing good around to eat. No restaurants, no bars, no nothin'. You will starve here.

6. Greek life is horrible! There's no campus life whatsoever and no one talks to each other.

7. The education is just horrible. You'd probably be better off not going to college at all.

8. Parties? What parties? Nope, we never party.

9. There is no school spirit whatsoever. People are more passionate about sleep than they are about their school.

10. Oh yeah, and the people? They suck. You won't make any friends.

Please don't go to TCU, you will hate it. I know you will. Save yourself some trouble and go somewhere so much better like, I don't know, Baylor?