Before we get started, let’s clarify exactly what catcalling is. I define catcalling as a derogatory sexist remark made in public towards a woman by a man. This is not to be confused with a compliment, which is a “polite expression of praise or admiration.” The key word there is polite. There’s a difference between speaking to a woman you find attractive and verbally harassing them with sexual innuendos. So, for any person who has catcalled, has thought about it, or thinks that it’s acceptable, here are some questions to think about.

1. Why do you insist on using animal noises to call a woman?

I’m going to assume that you’ve never had interaction with women and are reverting to animal calls because you don’t know any better. The sad part is, you do know better. If you’re going to try to speak to me, speak to me with words. Do not hiss at me like some animal in the zoo.

2. Do you genuinely believe that this is the best approach to get me to like you?

Gross comments and vulgar language are two immediate turn offs. Instead of using your head and going with a compliment, you thought with your other head and insulted me. So please save your breath and my time and say nothing at all.

3. Do you know how annoying you are?

I want you to understand that no matter what mood I may be in, the moment I cross paths with you, my day gets ten times worse. You have the nerve to interrupt my life with your barbarian comments and then expect that I’m supposed to be appreciative of them. If catcalling were happening to men, I guarantee we would see people reacting far differently. I do not have the time nor the energy to put into explaining how disrespectful you are, but please know: you are. Also, know that I considered slapping you.

4. Why do you get so mad when you’re ignored?

Is it because you genuinely thought that hissing at me like I was your domesticated pet was going to work? If so, refer to number two. Or is it because your masculine ego is so fragile that you can’t handle rejection from a woman you don't even know? If that is your problem, I would recommend trying a lot of self-help books.

5. When’s the last time you've had an actual successful relationship with a woman?

I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say never. Because if you had, you would know how uncomfortable it makes women. You would also know that after loving and respecting a woman, that it is morally wrong to harass women even if you don’t know them. Perhaps if you stopped, you wouldn’t be perpetually single.

6. If someone did this to your mother/sister/daughter/niece how would that make you feel?

You wouldn’t like it would you? You know better than anyone what the context of your comments really mean. Is it okay when other men are thinking the same thing about your little sister? You know that it’s not. So do not make someone else’s mother/sister/daughter/niece feel that way either.

7. When and from whom did you learn that this behavior is acceptable?

Was it your peers or the overly sexualized media? I want to know at what point you pushed aside your morals and decided that you would adopt the habit of making tasteless comments about women you don’t even know. I want you to look back at that moment and question why you did it. Because the truth is, it probably wasn’t because you wanted to. You probably did it to impress your friends or as a joke, but it’s not funny. It’s sleazy.

8. If your mother saw you doing this, would you be embarrassed?

Would you take pride in your behavior? Because I know the answer is no. No woman would be proud of the actions you're making. If anything they would be ashamed. Ashamed that after they loved and cared for you, you could still look at women as pieces of meat that are there to satisfy your sexual needs.

9. Do you know that your behavior scares me?

Do you finally understand that what you’re doing is in no way a compliment? That is genuinely disrespectful and objectifying. It does not flatter us, it scares us. It scares me that I cannot walk around freely without some man thinking about me in a sexual manner. It scares me more that in this society, you feel the right you have to express those thoughts to me. So please, the next time you see a woman you find attractive just leave her alone because she already knows how damn