Being self-less and caring for other people is always appreciated, but sometimes you forget that you need to take care of yourself as well. You are a human being with needs and desires that you want to achieve. Those dreams cannot be met if you’re not straight with yourself first before putting yourself out there. Self-care isn’t just about physical appearance it’s also about interior care. I’m not talking about your internal organs, it’s important to be healthy, but that’s not what I’m trying to get at here. What I’m trying to get at is that it’s important to know that you are okay with yourself and don’t put yourself on overdrive for others which is why I have compiled a list of 9 pieces of advice that I believe will help you in taking care of yourself better:

1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it.

When I say this, I think you know exactly what I mean. Sometimes we get this gut feeling at the pit of our stomach telling us that something isn’t right. We tend to call that our instincts and 99% of the time it is accurate. You should trust that gut feeling because it happens for a reason so be careful.

2. Say “exactly” what you mean.

We sometimes tend to talk around a subject because we don’t want to get to the main point which generally is annoying as hell. Instead of beating around the bush, why don’t we just tell people straight up what we mean. Avoiding the truth by lying will just lead to bigger problems in the end so instead just do everyone a favor and get straight to the point.

3. Don’t be a people pleaser.

This is a very important one because TOO many people live their lives trying to impress everyone else! Let me just ask you: What is the point of it all? Honestly speaking, you are just making yourself miserable because you’re not being yourself. You CANNOT please everyone ever no matter how hard you try. Instead of wasting your time trying to appease to everyone else, try focusing on your own happiness with your group of close friends and family. Trust me, you’ll be a lot happier that way. Happiness should always be a goal in your life.

4. Never speak bad about yourself.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard people talk bad about themselves, it’s literally the worst thing you can do to yourself. I may look at my friends and think that they are amazing people, but they may look in the mirror and say “I’m so fat”, “I’m so dumb”, “Why would anyone want to be my friend?” Everyone has done this whether they confess it or not. I don’t know why we do it, but we do. Don’t be your own bully. I know it’s hard sometimes to see the good in yourself, but we have to learn to do that. It’s so important to learn to appreciate yourself despite your flaws. Nobody is perfect, no matter how much they may seem like it. So instead of frowning at yourself, look at yourself and smile because that’s already a start towards acceptance.

5. Never give up on your dream.

This saying is very cliche, but it’s because it’s true. We all have dreams that we aspire to achieve in life. I know sometimes it can get really tough, but you can’t give up. Remember that one closed door leads to another open door, so just keep fighting until you reach that door. Each and everyone of us have a path, but each path is on a different timeline. Some people succeed earlier than others, but that doesn’t mean that you should give up on your dreams. Sometimes patience leads to better rewards. Great things will always take time, but it will be worth it once you reach it.

6. Don’t be afraid to say “No.”

I know a lot of people, some are nicer than others. Sometimes when you invited to go somewhere, you feel obligated to go. The nice person will go because they don’t want to let their friends down or feel guilty. The honest person will say “no” and if the friend is understanding then everything will be okay, if not unfriend them because you don’t need people like that in your life. If you have a bad instinct about something, say “No.” If you don’t want to have a drink, say “no.” You should never feel forced to do something you don’t want to do, remember that we have a voice for a reason. Make sure you’re okay with it before saying “yes” to anything in life.

7. Be kind to yourself.

Being kind to yourself is SO important because you are your biggest supporter. Start the day off by feeling your outfit and saying you look great in it. Tell yourself that you’re worth something, that you are great, that you are beautiful, that you are capable of whatever you put your mind to. Being kind to yourself will make you more confident and happy overall. You can start with small compliments which will lead to a self-kindness that help you succeed in life. Kindness can go a long way.

8. Let go of what you can’t control.

The truth is that we can’t control everything in our lives, but we can let go of what we can’t control. Let’s say somebody doesn’t like you, don’t try to kiss their a** and try to get them to like you. It’s not going to work, instead forget them and move on. Don’t let it bother you, you are just going to be stressing yourself out even more. If there is one thing you can control, it’s your reaction to things and that’s about it. Life is 1% what happens to you and 99% how you react to it. Don’t be a control freak, you are stressing yourself way too much over some things you just can’t control. Instead try to relax and just go with the flow.

9. Stay away from drama and negativity.

Honestly, the easiest way to stay away from drama and negativity is to stop being nosey and just mind your own damn business. If they didn’t call your name, then don’t even get involved because you will get involved and it might get ugly. Some people are just SO nosey that they can’t help hearing juicy drama. I can’t lie and say that it isn’t interesting to hear juicy drama sometimes, but don’t comment about it to anyone. Keep your opinion to yourself and you’ll be fine. The more drama or negativity you let into your life, the more problems you will have. The less problems you have, the less stressed you’ll be. Just keep to yourself, that’s it. Nobody needs to know your business and you don’t need to know anyone else’s. End of story.