It’s a new year, folks! 2016 was one hell of a year. Death, elections, and a whole bunch of crap in between made many people agree this was the worst year ever. Thankfully, by the time this article comes out it’ll be 2017 and we can put this crapfest of a year behind us. So to kick off the year I thought I’d talk about the one constant throughout the years; people. Everyday, we meet all new people who shape our experiences, but I’ve noticed that a lot of them fall into certain categories no matter what year it is. Here is a list of the 9 people you will meet during 2017.
1. "The One"
Let’s just get this out of the way now. If you’re going into 2017 single, you’re gonna meet “the one.” And I say it like that because they’re not really “the one.” They’re the first person you meet that seems to have taken a shine to you and you start envisioning a future with them, but then something comes along to fuck it up and you’re left a broken mess. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us, but just as we survived this past year, you’ll survive this.
2. The Stoner
This is the friend who is always high and is super chill. Everyone seems to know him and has a story involving him. You may not even know his name, but that doesn’t change the fact that you went to McDonald’s with him at 3 AM that one time.
3. "That" Guy
This is the person that is just there. He doesn’t really do anything, but is always around. Whether it’s in class, or in the dining hall, or at a party, you see him there. You don’t really know him, but if someone asked you about him you would suddenly be like “Oh yeah! That guy!"
4. The Best Friend
“Amani,” I hear you saying, “I already have a best friend. What are you talking about?” Yes you may already have a best friend, but going into 2017 you’ll meet another friend who may take on the traits of a best friend. That person that you hang out with a lot, share your most intimate secrets with, and you can always count on for a good time.
5. The Parent
One friend that everyone has is the parent of the group. This is the person who is most responsible and whose job is to make sure the group is, for the most part, generally OK. Even if you already have a parent, you’ll likely meet another friend this year that will become that parent for you, being the person that makes sure you’re safe and secure.
6. The Rebound
If you’re going into 2017 fresh out of a relationship, or you end a relationship during 2017, you’ll definitely meet this person. You’re gonna jump right into a relationship that is meant to do nothing more than purge your system of the last person you were with. It may even be the one that we were talking about earlier.
7. The Creeper
Similar to “that guy,” except unlike him who is kinda just hanging around and isn’t a bother, the Creeper is actually making you uncomfortable, whether it is intentional or not. He probably makes weird jokes, hits on you when you don’t want him to, or stares at you for extended periods on end. If you do meet this person, run like crazy.
8. The Partier
This person has been drinking since 12:01 New Year’s Eve and apparently hasn’t stopped. You’ll usually find them at a club, at a party, or really anywhere that alcohol is being served. If you go out, 99% of the time you’ll see this person, and the 1% you don’t is because they’re getting their stomach pumped.
9. The Actual One
Whether you actually end up in a relationship in 2017 or not, you’re still probably gonna meet the one, even if you don’t end up with them. That’s the cool thing about life, we never know who each person we meet is gonna be to us. They could end up being your best friend, or your enemy, or the person you spend the rest of your life with.