Excitement, anxiety. fear. These are the emotions that precisely describe how we feel when Black Friday comes around (ugh, less than one week away!) and we think about the hordes of people who abandon their families, wake up before the sun and bum-rush the mall all in the pursuit for a TV that is 100 bucks cheaper than it usually is. Hell, we'd pay someone 100 bucks to ensure that we never have to deal with people like that.

Want to survive Black Friday without receiving a single injury? Use these 9 tips:

1. Make a list

Not only is it better to have a plan for your shopping trip, but having a list of items in front of you will keep you from mindlessly grabbing things just because they are there. Trust us, you do not need that $200 electric toothbrush starter kit, even if it's usually $275.

2. Prepare for the crowds

The more you complain and freak out about the packs of people who will be out shopping, the more you'll stress yourself out. Just accept that it's going to be a s--t show and you'll feel a lot better. It'll be like accepting that it's out of your control. And it probably wouldn't hurt to do some yoga or breathing exercises before hitting Forever 21.

3. Have a plan

Know what stores you want to hit. The more prepared you are before you enter, the faster you leave. And if you are going to a mall that you're not used to, make sure to grab a map. There will no doubt be a crowd of people constantly surrounding those map directories; you won't be able to get near it. Have your own. Or make your own map. Maybe with crayon! And stickers! And glitter! Or not.

4. Do your research

Notice a theme here? Preparation! Make sure you know the best deals before you go into any store. That way you don't regret a purchase, nor will you have to go back to that nightmarish hell of a mall to return something once you find something cheaper.

5. B.Y.O.B. (Bring Your Own Bag)

You'll be surprised how much time you'll save when checking out if you have your own bag. Plus, bringing sturdier bags means you won't be in danger of ripping or tearing those dinky plastic bags stores give you.

6. Have a backup in mind

Hey, sometimes you can't always get what you want. If you are dead-set on getting a loved one a certain gift, have a backup plan just in case you get to the store to find that all the iPads are gone. If you have two or three different gifts in mind should one not be available, you won't run the risk of buying something on impulse. That's how people end up getting unnecessary fondue sets.

7. Bring your own food and drinks to avoid the food courts

You think the Apple store is a nightmare? Take one step into the food court on Black Friday. Trust us, you'll want to avoid that place like the plague. Bring your own snacks or fill up on food before you get near the mall. It's less expensive and you won't have to wait behind a family of 10 who are all ordering different pretzels at Aunt Annie's.

8. Always bring a friend

Much like venturing into the actual pits of hell, some things are just more fun wth a friend or two at your side, because you cannot simply do this alone. The shopping and crowds won't be so terrible if you have a buddy to talk to and/or complain to. And they can help you carry stuff like your very own pack mule. How fancy!

9. If you don't wanna get hurt by the crowds of people, simply stay home

This is the best tip we can get you. Stay home and cuddle with your pets, watch TV with your family or just lounge with your friends. Celebrate Buy Nothing Day, which is basically when people just flat-out refuse to participate in Black Friday as a way of protesting consumerism. Or at the very least wait for Cyber Monday, when most of those same deals will be available online.

Good luck this Black Friday!! May the odds ever be in your favor!!