Okay, so one of my biggest pet peeves this past year has been people’s inability to see the other side of things. When I came to college, I found that people were a lot more closed-minded than they would like to believe. This inability, in my own experience, has plagued all people, regardless of race, gender, age and political preference. For the purposes of this article, I’m just going to talk about my people—young liberals (don’t worry, this is an article everyone can enjoy… I’m getting there, Scott!). I’ve heard many a liberal social justice warrior proclaim that they are open-minded freethinkers, only then to silence their peers who try to offer a different perspective on politics. I'm sorry, Jennica, but you are not being very open. Yes, we all know you supported Bernie. Yes, of course we’ve seen your tweets about how you love Bo Obama. Here’s the thing, Jennica—which isn’t even a real name; we’ve seen your student ID and your name is Jessica, so stop trying so hard—you aren’t open to any points of view that don’t align with your own. There are so many (nine... I could only come up with nine) fantastic things about Trump being president now, Jennica. Like being a jock in high school, these will be the best four years of your life. You have so much to eagerly await!
1. SNL got better
Saturday Night Live has gotten really good over the past year and a half. Yes, this really does deserve the #1 spot on the list; that should tell you how hard I had to work to come up with nine points. Trump’s election spells four more years of hilarious source material. Kate McKinnon made the perfect Kellyanne Conway (Trump’s campaign manager and a woman who practically makes fun of herself) and Alec Baldwin’s rendition of Donald Trump is eerily accurate. So sure, Trump’s presidency may take away your access to an affordable and safe abortion, but at least you'll be able to laugh about how crappy your life has become. Maybe the cast of SNL will do a fun sketch where Leslie Jones unintentionally gives birth to Bobby Moynihan, while Alec Baldwin stands in the back, telling Jones to grab herself by the 🐱 to postpone labour. See? You’ve got that to look forward to!
2. Alec Baldwin has secured a 4-year job
Alright, this really is just a subpoint of #1, but I think Alec deserves his own spot on this list. We all know that Baldwin was doing pretty well before this election—I mean, who can forget his phenomenal performance in the live action version of The Cat in the Hat—but his recurring role on SNL as Donald Trump has been some of his finer work. Trump’s presidency has inadvertently given Alec Baldwin a sweet gig on SNL, which is kind of ironic considering how much Trump denigrates the show on Twitter.
3. He is man of the people
Finally a president who really gets us! He came from humble beginnings, worked his way to the top, and got the majority of the popular vote. Wow!
4.More Ben Carson
Ben Carson is one of my all-time favorite people to ever attempt a presidential campaign. The man was just so clueless, which was an utter joy to watch. Carson had no experience or education in politics, so he had absolutely no chance at securing the Republican nomination; as we all know, only the most experienced politicians can win the presidential election. When Donald Trump nominated Ben Carson as his Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, I knew I would be able to survive the Trump administration. Four years of blank stares from a man who (supposedly) stabbed his friend during a dispute over choosing a radio station will keep you entertained, even when your undocumented friends and family get deported.
5. Twitter has never been more relevant
When the President of the United States gets into Twitter feuds every other day, you have an excuse to scroll through your favorite social media platform and tell yourself that it’s relevant to American politics. Yup, Twitter is essentially a news website now. Is this what it’s like when my mom reads CNN at two in the morning for entertainment?
6. Finally our first socialist, Jewish presiden...wait… Finally our first woman pres...no… Finally our first orange president. Yeah, that’s it!
We all wanted this election to make history and it did, just not in the way one would have initially expected. Congratulations, if you're reading this, then you have survived the most ridiculous election of all time. This election had many firsts: the first female major party candidate, the first woman to successfully run a presidential campaign, the first contemporary armageddon, and the first orange president. There’s no denying it, this was an election to remember… and we lived through it… sort of.
7. No reelection (oh god, what if?)
So chances are this won’t be happening again. Regardless of your party affiliations, I think we can all agree that we would rather have an actual potato in office in lieu of Donald Trump. This presidential potato preference means that reelection really isn’t something we have to worry about. If Trump can even make it through a full four years, it’s pretty unlikely that a we will have to endure another four. Stranger things have happened though… like electing Donald Trump. Anything can happen. President Mashed Potato 2020?
8. Tomi Lahren, that ranting blond girl from the Internet
9. People will vote more in the future
Alright, in all seriousness, there is one good thing that will come out of this presidency that everyone can benefit from. If you aren’t happy, you have four years to inform people as to why. Have civil discussions about your differing positions on politics, speak your mind, and, most importantly, encourage people to vote. If you could have voted, chose not to, and are not pleased with our new president, then vote next time. And vote for other stuff! We elect more than just the president, guys! Hopefully, we will have better voter turnout in four years than we did in November (when less than half of all eligible voters actually fulfilled their civic duty).
I know that Trump being elected is a hard pill to swallow. I too was shocked when my girl Hillary didn’t beat Donald to a pulp (orange pulp undoubtedly), but just wallowing won’t do any good. And yelling at those who voted for Trump and/or support his presidency will not change their minds or the facts of this situation. Don’t be silenced and don’t silence others. There is a difference between having a discussion (remember how composed Hilary was the day after the election) and berating anyone who even slightly disagrees with you (*cough cough* Mr. Trump). So even though Hillary didn't pummel Trump and make orange juice out of him, distressed liberals must spend the next four years making lemonade out of this giant, tweeting, sour orange-lemon. Yes, Donald J. Trump is the next citrus hybrid. This isn’t easy, but you have to look on the bright side. I understand that as far as policies are concerned, this is hard, but there are silver (golden?) linings to most situations. Hopefully, these cheered you up Jennica. And Scott, try to understand where we are coming from.
