Having a crush is easy. Having a relationship that heads south and still having to be around them sucks. If you follow these tips EXACTLY, you will be golden.

1. Stalk them on social media

-If they’re happy, then you’re happy. They’re sad, you’re sad. Get the picture?

2. Walk past their dorm room

-Every day, no matter what, walk past their dorm room. The door is always open anyway so you can look inside to see if a new girl is in there.

3. DM the new chick you saw waiting by the door

-Who cares if its his roommates new girlfriend or his best friend? Warn her, too. Tell her to get out while she still has the chance.

4. Date his best friend

-If you’re lucky, his best friend will be his roommate, so you can rub it in his face.

5. Dress to the nines every day

-Yes, you may have a cycling class at 11am with no access to a shower, but gosh darn it you will wear those heels with class and like it!

6. Subtweet, subtweet, subtweet

7. Send gifts

-Because if you don’t send gifts then are you really trying?

8. Eat everything

-Don’t hold back, you aren’t keeping it tight anymore, know what I’m saying?

Follow these tips and literally everything will be ok. Literally.