We start dating someone, thinking they're the right person for us, then a few months later... BAM, red flags everywhere! Where did it go wrong? How do we know if we are with the right person or not?? Here are a few things I've learned over the years that makes a great checklist to help you figure out Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong.
1. Your parents and your best friends love him.
Let's be honest here, your parents and your best friends are the first people to spot the fake ones. You need to listen to them. Sometimes love can be blinding. Let the people you trust, who aren't blinded by lovey-dovey feelings, tell you how it really is. No one else has your better interest in mind more than they do. And just remember, if you fam ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
2. He's supportive, even when you aren't supportive of yourself.
Sometimes, we all need a little nudge to help push us into going for our dreams. When you have a significant other who helps nudge you and encourage you to go for your dreams and aspirations, you will get so much further in life. The support of a significant other can help you go from being a timid caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly, flying to reach all of your goals.
3. He speaks your love language.
This one is SUPER important. If you don't know what the love languages are, here's a quick rundown. There are five love languages: quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gift giving. If your partner speaks your love language, you are going to feel much more cared for, appreciated, and adored. For example, my two love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. When my significant other spends meaningful, one-on-one time with me and tells me when I am doing something good, I feel much more loved than if he were to buy me a gift or do an act of service for me.
4. He matches your weirdness.
If you can't be weird around your significant other, then why the heck are you even dating them? Your relationship is going to be so much more fun if you can make each other laugh and do weird and crazy things around each other. When you're around your boyfriend and you feel like you can't be yourself or joke around with them, you're just going to be plain out bored. You both need to be able to laugh together if you want to make it through the emotional roller coaster of life!
5. He has the same future in mind.
Does he want kids? Does he want to live in a different state? Does he want to live in an igloo in Antartica? If your future goals don't line up, one of you is going to end up having to give up on a dream and compromise for the other. Think about what you REALLY want and what's really important to you, and don't change that.
6. He makes you beyond happy.
Do you find yourself smiling like an idiot when you think of him? This person should make you incredibly happy. If you're spending 75% of your time angry, upset, or mad at your significant other, then he's probably not the one. You should be genuinely happy when you're with them or when you think of them. When you're evaluating this, be honest with yourself. Don't lie to yourself and say you're happy just because you don't want to be alone. You deserve to be legitimately and uncontrollably happy.
7. He knows how to handle your bad moods and "hanger".
Whether it's your "shark week" or you're so hungry you feel like your stomach is actually eating itself, we all get moody and "hangry" at some point. That's why it's extremely important to have a significant other that can handle those moments of hormones and hunger. If he can't, the situation will only get worse and you will both end up unnecessarily angry and unhappy. Side note to all the men out there: if you anger an already "hangry" women, you might just be their next meal.
8. HE LOVES YOU.
He genuinely loves you. Not just with words, but with actions. Words don't mean anything if they don't have an action to back it up. He also shows his love for you through his actions when he is with you AND when he isn't with you. He is loyal, committed, and he puts in the effort.
Thank you to my amazing boyfriend for showing me what its like to find Mr. Right.
P.S. I love you.
