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9 Ways To Smuggle Yourself Into Canada

Sure, you could move there legally... but where's the fun in that?

Kaitlynn Bartley

Nov 07, 2016

Cambridge, Massachusetts

414

Creative Commons

You already know how important this election is. The reality is that we are about to have our first female president, and people are actually... upset about that but whatever! The bigger problem is that a smaller reality is that we might get our first orange crayon as president.

1. Mail Yourself

This might seem more complicated than it is. Have a friend help. Poke some tiny holes in a sturdy cardboard box, wrap yourself up in some bubble wrap, and hop in! Take a quick nap while a friend or loved one tapes up the box and brings you to the Post Office. Or, even better, call for UPS to come pick it up!

Just channel your inner cat. You got this.

2. Maple Match

For those who haven't heard, there's a new(ish) dating site that will connect a Canadian and an American together. Are you a Canadian looking for a companion that is literally stuck with you? If you are, why are you reading this article? Are you an American looking to flee to Canada? THIS IS THE SITE FOR YOU!

3. Boat

Simple enough. Get a boat. Sail it up to Canada. Just go around California, or around New England, and just... land in Canada. Obviously.

4. Just walk across, duh

It shouldn't be that hard, right? I mean, our countries are super close dude. Just walk across the border and pretend like you know what you're doing. Unless it's closed.

5. Dig a tunnel underground

THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE CAN CATCH YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE UNDERGROUND.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

6. Hide in the back of a truck

They do it in movies all the time, why wouldn't it work in real life? Movies NEVER lie. The Internet NEVER lies.

7. Go legally for a "visit" and then never leave

People do this a lot more often than you would think. I'm sure people are planning this right now. Plan your trip to Canada. If Momma Hill wins, you just come back as planned. If Trump wins, just... never come back.

8. Steal the identity of a Canadian and say you're going home

Just don't tell anyone, okay?

9. Get a fake passport and buy a plane ticket under that name

Same as last time: Just don't tell anyone and you're GOLDEN. I promise this one will work.

BONUS. I guess you could move there legally?

I thought of this one about half way through and wanted to add it in but then I realized that it's real and you could potentially do this, and it wouldn't be "smuggling" yourself into another country.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

9 Ways To Smuggle Yourself Into Canada

Sure, you could move there legally... but where's the fun in that?

1. Mail Yourself

2. Maple Match

3. Boat

4. Just walk across, duh

5. Dig a tunnel underground

6. Hide in the back of a truck

7. Go legally for a "visit" and then never leave

8. Steal the identity of a Canadian and say you're going home

9. Get a fake passport and buy a plane ticket under that name

BONUS. I guess you could move there legally?

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

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