Just like nearly every other person, I’ve had my heart broken. I’ve spent countless nights curled up on my bathroom floor, willing the hole in my heart to just close up. I’ve spent countless nights trying to find ways to ease the pain. Should I call him? Should I try to find someone else? I’ve tortured myself with things like “What did I do wrong?” and “Why doesn’t he love me?” I’ve had my heart broken so many times in so many ways that I’ve been dubbed as damaged goods. I struggle in relationships because of all the times I’ve been kicked while I was down. Below are 8 ways a girl who has been broken loves/needs love differently.

I will have a really hard time opening myself up, but when I do, just know that earning my trust means more than “I love you.”

More often than not, I make myself vulnerable, and consequently, my heart gets smashed to pieces. I’ve trusted people who didn’t deserve it. There are several people that I’ve let in who have dropped me like it’s nothing, and they didn’t deserve to know me like they did. It’s really hard to find someone worthy of trust in this day and age. Nevertheless, I will still keep looking because I believe there are still good people out there.

There will be times where I don’t want to talk to anyone.

Don’t take this personally and don’t push me into talking about it until I’m ready. Sometimes I need a break from everyone so that I can deal with life my own way. Don’t be discouraged, I’ll come back when I’m ready.

Sometimes I need to be told several times over why you want me around.

So many people have made me believe that I was wanted when I wasn’t. I know it can be annoying, but please just humor me. It makes me feel better to know that I’m genuinely appreciated and loved.

My anxiety over your intentions will sometimes take over, and I will be insecure.

I can’t help myself. I get in these moods where I will wonder if the person you’re texting is really your best friend or if it’s some code name for another girl. Yes, this has actually happened to me, and yes, it was really annoying, not to mention hurtful.

I know my strengths and weaknesses.

Although I seem weak at times, I’m one of the strongest people I know. I’ve been through too much to not know what I’m good at and what I’m not.

I know what I am worth and I don’t need validation from anyone else to be happy with myself.

I’ve been treated badly enough that I know what I do and don’t deserve. I don’t deserve to be treated like my only worth comes from what I can do for other people and how I make others feel. Yes, other people are important, but so am I and what I want counts for something as well.

I am a challenging person to get along with sometimes.

I can’t just pretend that my problems and troubles will just vanish. Sometimes they overtake me and I can’t bring myself to be okay with it. I don’t expect anyone to understand the things I deal with every day, but I’ll do my best to include you in whatever I’m feeling. Sometimes I have intense mood swings that I can’t control. I get so angry and hurt that I can’t breathe. I get so sad that I can’t quite talk myself into getting out of bed. I'll come back to you, I just ask that you're patient with me. Other times I'll be so happy and carefree that you won't know what to do with me.

I appreciate the small things.

It doesn't take a whole lot to impress me. The little things are the things that really matter in the end. Do we need to go to expensive dinners? No. Surprise me with a fountain coke and a movie and I'd probably cry. I don't need to be spoiled, I just need to spend time with you.

Despite everything I've been through, I will always do my best to be kind to you. I will do my best to make sure that you are happy and taken care of. Despite my struggles, I still care and show more love than anyone I've ever known. All I ask is that you take the time to understand why I am the way I am.