It's that time of the year; Graduation. You would think that graduating from college I would have my life on track, have a game plan, and be ready to take on the real world. But on the contrary, I most definitely should not be allowed to adult. Here's a description of what facing adulthood looks like, as told by everyone's favorite "New Girl"character, Nick Miller.
1. On Taking Your Last Final
You know that after this, you'll never have to take another test again in your life. You're ready to make this semester your bitch. You may have slacked off all year, but you're ready to prove your professors wrong. You play some jams and you get yourself pumped up.
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2. On Having A Degree
You now have a piece of paper validating all of your hard work. This simple piece of parchment validates potential employers and fellow adults that you are, in fact, an established and esteemed individual. Is this what responsibility and stability feels like?
3. On Being The "Responsible" Friend
"That's so great!" "We're so proud!" "I can't wait to be done like you!" "How did you do it?!" All very valid things to say to me if you're willing to accept I will probably panic upon hearing it. Having younger friends tell you that you've inspired them to work hard in school so they can graduate on time and have a game plan legitimately sends bile up my throat. Excuse me while I slip slowly into madness.
4. On Skills Needed For The Work Force
What is even appropriate to put on my resume anyway? What do you mean I'm not qualified to work here? What "skills" am I supposed to be working on? I need to know how to use how many different Microsoft Office programs? My vocabulary isn't as extensive as it probably should be, but there's always time to learn, right?
5. On Getting Your First Job Rejection
So you've put it all on the line. You've adjusted your resume, you've put on your best clothes for your interview, and you've managed to not spill any food on you in the past 20 minutes. Essentially, you're golden. That is, until, the interviewer tells you you're not right for the job. Hopes and dreams are crushed and self-esteem has plummeted, but it's fine.
6. On Having To Make Your Own Decisions
Now that you're an adult, there are no more parents telling you what to do. Something that you've wanted since you were a teenager, and now, you're not sure how to make it on your own. How am I supposed to be my own boss when for the past twenty two years I've had someone telling me what to do all the time?
7. On Taking Care Of Yourself
In the real world, you can't call your mom when you don't feel good. She's no longer there to make sure your physical and emotional health are in check. How do I even cook vegetables? Does fruit expire? What exactly does a "sell by" date mean?
8. On Accepting Your Fate
You know that it's going to be rough. And that it may take a long time, but eventually you'll figure it out. But getting your shit together is another accomplishment to be proud of, right?
