I'm an overachiever, which of course means I overthink as well. Probably over thinking about being an overachiever.
1. Why does everyone insist that I am so great?
Anxious overachievers do not think that they are achieving anything because there is always a bigger mountain to climb straight ahead of them. They do not feel comfortable getting compliments from other people because they are always setting the bar way too high for themselves internally. Plus, the last thing that an anxious overachiever wants to do is be seen as arrogant by others.
2. I am never going to get through this semester.
Anxiety in the highly motivated person is good and bad. Unfortunately, it causes the overachiever to truly believe that the end will never come because the sea of things to get done in such a little amount of time is too long and deep. Anxiety shortens the person’s ability to see beyond the immediate obstacles and since the overachiever puts a ridiculous amount of obstacles in their own way, the mountain appears that it will be too much to accomplish.
3. If I don’t get all A’s every semester, I will never get anywhere in life.
Normally, an overachiever has aspirations that go beyond the immediate thing that they are doing. For example, I am getting my undergraduate degree, but my ultimate goal is to graduate from law school and pass the Bar Exam. Since this is the case, the overachiever has to meticulously plan out every action that they take so that they can be sure to reach their next step.
4. I AM AWESOME
SOMETIMES the anxiety will lift for a little while and the overachiever will achieve something particularly special and they will have a moment of self-appreciation. These do not happen often, but they do happen and they are important and special moments when they do.
5. Don’t get cocky, or else everything will go down hill.
The most annoying thing that anxiety does to the brain is that it convinces the mind that little omens are true and should not be second-guessed. Cockiness for the anxious person is one of the worst. The last thing that a person with anxiety wants is to get cocky about him or herself because they are convinced that the cockiness will result in their failure, and failure is not an option.
6. I just need to quit everything. Who needs money and success anyway?
The anxious overachiever will try to convince him or herself that they could just walk away from all of their commitments, even though they would not actually be able to. Just once, the overachiever would like to be able to stick it to the man and play hooky from a commitment or responsibility like other people do… but the anxiety and the drive will prevent it every time.
7. WOW, I actually got all A’s (no one else is surprised and that pisses me off).
The anxiety of an overachiever gets worse sometimes when they have to tell others of their success. The people who the overachiever care about have most likely been in their lives a long time, meaning that those loved ones expect that the person will always achieve. This is the point that the anxiety increases because the anxious achiever is so afraid of failure, not only because it would cause self-disappointment, but it would also cause their loved ones to second guess their abilities. It brings about the thought, “what if those loved ones only love me because I am successful?”
8. I guess I like myself, I’ve done pretty good so far.
At the end of the day, there can be reprieve from all of the anxiety driven motivations and fear of failure. Those moments of self-acceptance and appreciation carry the anxious achiever through the anxiety and allow a little self-love to be culminated through the process.
