Every time finals week comes along, every person's inner hot mess comes out. But for some of us, our inner hot mess is out all year round. If you hear yourself saying these things other than finals week, you are definitely one hot mess.
1. “Where is my _____?”
Charger. Keys. Passport. Mom. Anything and everything can be lost whether it be on your desk or in your bag. Everyone has the occasional misplacing of things, but not us. Nothing we own can ever be found in one try. I’m starting to believe I’m in Toy Story except everything I have can walk away from me. Or maybe I’m just irresponsible. But I’m going to stick with the Toy Story theory.
2. “I think I’m going to be late.”
I'm always late. No matter how much preparation you may do, the day of any event is always a catastrophe. Something breaks, you overslept, you can’t find your shoes (surprise there). Lateness has just become a part of your personality at this point, it’s okay.
3. “I’m ten minutes away.”
My favorite and most used lie. I am never ten minutes away. If I say I am ten minutes away, sit down and start a new show on Netflix because I am actually about an hour away.
4. “I’ll do it later.”
Because you are constantly late and running out the door, you leave plenty of thing undone. I’m always halfway to my destination, late of course, when I realize my floor is covered with dirty clothes. I figure I’ll just pick it up when I get back. But we all know the truth. I’ll do it later is code for I’ll do it when it’s 100% necessary.
5. “What day is it?”
You know that wonderful feeling in summer when you have no clue what day it is because it doesn’t matter? Life is kinda like that except it does matter and I am constantly worrying about it. I am always walking to the wrong class because I have no idea what day it is. My inner monologue usually goes something like “Do I have this class on Mondays or Wednesdays? Or Mondays and Wednesdays? So how could my paper be due on Thursday?”
6. “When’s that assignment due?”
Every year without fail my mother buys me a planner and hands it to me at school. She says “You can do better with this” and for a while I do. Life is kinda okay, I know where my meetings are, when assignments are due and everything is great. But then I stop for a day turned into two days turned into a week turned into never seeing that planner again. Once the planner is retired, it feels like the world is on fire and I have 800 things to do a day, especially assignments.
7. “Where are we going right now?”
At this point in my life, my friends and family memorize my schedule so they can tell me where I need to be. They tell me to get dressed and drag me to whatever destination we’re supposed to be at. I have found myself sitting in a car with my friends dressed in gowns with no clue where we were going. When I finally asked they said, we’re going to your cousin’s baby shower. Had they not just told me to get in the car, I would have stayed home trying to find my keys.
8. “Wait, what did you say?”
I try to listen. I swear that I do but my mind doesn’t obey. It wanders off and by the time it gets back to listening to what you’re saying, I am totally lost. I’m too preoccupied thinking about where I left watch, whether my paper is due on Thursday or Friday and the mountain of clothes sitting on the floor waiting for me to get home.
Everything about my life is a constant struggle. Some might say to pull it together or be an adult, try being responsible for once. Maybe that’s how things work for some people but not for me. My life is a this strange, chaotic hurricane of surprises and I wouldn't want it any other way.
