As a person with a year's worth of hosting experience, I understand what it's like to hear these phrases non-stop, all day every day. Sometimes it doesn't bother me, but sometimes it gets annoying -- like, we get it already; I've already heard that joke 10 times today. So please, for the sanity of all hosts and hostesses everywhere, just don't bring these things up:
1. "Wow, you need to fix those booth seats (or some other decor item); when are they going to be fixed?"
I understand that they may not look as pretty anymore, and I am genuinely sorry, but there is nothing actually wrong with the booth itself. Yes, the cover is scratched, but it is still comfortable! And unfortunately, I have no clue when they will be fixed; I'm just a hostess.
2. "Oh, I don't like any of these seats, can I sit over there?" (Points to other side of restaurant.)
I know that you may not understand, or know, that we have table numbers and server sections, but please please please just don't do this. Of course we will allow it because we want you to be happy with your seat and your stay, but it really messes up our rotation and servers get mad at us.
3. "Why is there a wait? I see that open table right there!"
Once again, this is a rotation thing. We may have an open table, but it may mean that we do not currently have a server able to take the table. As much as we would like to be able to seat you there, we cannot.
4. "Can you tell me about everything on the menu?"
Well, I can tell you all that I know and have tasted here, but I usually don't know everything about the ingredients in each food. Feel free to ask for a recommendation on food; I will gratefully tell you all of my favorite foods here, but I usually won't be able to help you with an allergy problem. So please don't get mad or irritated if I ask you to talk to your server about it; they are trained to know those things.
5. Bad jokes about your age—or something else about your appearance.
If we comment or laugh at those jokes, then we could be considered rude. We don't want you to think that we dislike you or anything, but we don't want to get into trouble because you thought it was funny to call yourself old and we played along. Typically we will just smile and change the topic. Like I said, we are not trying to be rude, we just do not know how to respond.
6. "We have about five to 10 people in our group."
Please don't do this. We cannot set up your tables accurately if we do not know exactly how many people. It's usually alright if you guess and overestimate your table, however, something like saying five to 10 people is hard for us to know how to set the table up. So, if you do this, you probably won't be seated until your whole party arrives so we can set it up accurately for you.
7. "Are you still open?"
I understand if you are just driving around and decide out of the blue, "Let's go eat here," but please, check the times that we close. If we are closing in five minutes and you ask this, we will respond with the time that we close. We will not turn you away; however, we may have to talk to our managers to make sure the kitchen hasn't closed yet. So, if you decide to stay, just remember so do we. Therefore, out of respect for our servers, please remember that the last server has to stay until you leave and then some.
8. Saying absolutely nothing and ignoring the hostess completely!
I honestly find this the worst! This just becomes kind of rude. When I greet or thank you with a smile and open the doors for you, the least you could do is thank me or smile back. But when you just ignore me and keep going after I wish you to have a great and wonderful rest of your day, I'm not going to lie, I take back my "have a good day," because at that point, I don't care anymore.