I think we all can agree that we all experience those moments where we reflect on past situations and say to ourselves, "wow, I wish I knew then what I know now." We get put in situations, especially at younger ages, where we're not sure what to do or how to handle them. It's all a part of the learning experience. Hurdles and obstacles are placed in front of us to test us, and if we fail, we learn from it and refer to the experience when similar situations reoccur. Not only that, but these situations, decisions, and successes/failures are what creates the people we become. We can also help others by sharing our experiences with them (if you're comfortable) to prevent them from making the same mistakes. That is what I'm here to do. Here are some things that I wish I could go back and tell younger me.
1. It's completely OK to not have your life planned out.
In high school, especially my senior year, I was constantly panicking because I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and I didn't have my entire life mapped out for me to follow. Hey, guess what? That's perfectly fine! I'll let you in on a secret: nobody has their life figured out. Even those who do create fully detailed life plans hardly ever follow them exactly. As time goes on, you start to change as a person and your interests and dreams will constantly evolve. Unforeseen obstacles will arise that will alter your plans. Things that I told myself I was going to do when I was younger definitely didn't happen and I ended up on different paths than I thought I would. That's cool with me because I'm pretty happy with where I am. You don't need to have everything figured out because life is unpredictable. Just go with the flow of life and make your choices and decisions based on what makes you happy in that moment.
2. Be open-minded and try new things.
Obviously don't try stupid things, like attempting to fly with plastic bags as wings (my best friend already tried that). When I say "be open-minded and try new things," I mean that if opportunities present themselves, take them! Is there a sport you've always wanted to try? Do it. Have you thought about trying out for the school play? Audition. Are there places you've wanted to see that you've never been? Go. You could end up in a new activity and completely hate it, but you could also end up loving it and discovering it's something that you really enjoy. By expanding your interests and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, you're discovering yourself and figuring out what makes you happy and what's important to you. Don't hold back for any reason. Give it a shot!
3. You don't need anybody who doesn't need you.
As hard as it can be to accept, people come and go throughout your life. They may stay for a little while, or they could enter your life and end up staying forever. You never know. Unfortunately, sometimes people's intentions aren't always what they seem, or they just aren't who you thought they were. It hurts when you get close to someone and then they just vanish or do something that was really unfair to you. Their actions have no connection to you, it's simply who they are. If someone is disrespectful or treats you unfairly, do you really need them in your life? Absolutely not. You need to have positive people in your life who like you for who you are and are there to build you up, not tear you down. If you're here to make my life difficult and stressful, the exit is over there and don't let the door hit you on your way out.
4. Heartbreak doesn't last forever.
I really wish I could go back in time and slap younger me in the face for crying over some jerks who didn't deserve me. Heartbreak is inevitable and everyone goes through it eventually, and more than once. It's emotionally painful, especially the first one. Yes, you cared about the person, maybe even loved them. For some reason, it had to end, and it obviously just wasn't meant to be. It's OKAY to cry and be upset. It's not going to last forever, I promise. One day you're going to realize that the jerk who said he loved you and left you like it was nothing isn't worth your tears. There are over seven billion people on this planet and not all of them are the same. The real one, the one who is meant for you, will never break your heart or make you feel this way. Just hang in there, you're going to find him or her!
5. Stay true to yourself.
Everybody is different. No two people on this entire planet are exactly the same. You're bound to encounter people who don't like you for whatever reasons they may have. Do not conform to what everyone else is doing because then you're not being yourself and what good is that? It's YOUR life, therefore YOU be who you want to be and do what YOU want to do. If people don't like you or what you're doing and disagree with it, let them. Don't let them dull your shine. You do you, girl! Because at the end of the day, you're the one who's going to look in the mirror and either be dissatisfied with what you see, or smile back at yourself with pride.
6. Others opinions do not define you.
This kind of ties with my previous point, but let me expand on it further. Not only do you have to be yourself, but you have to ignore the negativity that people may have towards you. People can be judgmental and mean. But here's how you should think about it: if you see person A making fun of person B, what conclusions will you make about their character? The first thing I would think is "damn, person A is an asshole." If anything, people who are like that are just showing how horrible they are and how miserable they must be with their own lives. Don't let their opinions affect you. You know who you are, and your real friends and family know who you are, so why do their opinions matter? Exactly, they don't. I know it's easier said than done, but just let their comments go in one ear and out the other and continue on like they don't even exist. You're better than that.
7. Forgive your mistakes.
This is a big one. I most definitely struggled with this and still sometimes beat myself up over things I did years ago. Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. If you mess up, it's OKAY. Not only do you need forgiveness from others, but most importantly, you need to forgive yourself. I know it can be hard, but what's done is done and you can't go back and change it, so what's the point in being so hard on yourself? Just learn from your mistakes and move on. Next time you're in a similar situation, you'll know how to handle it and won't make the same mistake again. Don't be so hard on yourself! Nobody is perfect, and you certainly don't need to weigh yourself down by carrying guilt for things you've done a long time ago. This carries into my final point.
8. Life goes on.
This isn't just applicable to the "forgive your mistakes" point. It applies to everything: breakups, mistakes, obstacles, etc. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control. Life throws us curve balls and you can't let those curve balls allow you to want to give up and quit the game. Wipe yourself off, get back up, and figure out how to keep going. No matter what happens, the Earth is still spinning and everything will be okay. Times like these show us what we're made of and what we're capable of. Stay strong, because you are. Times get tough, but you always have to fight through the storm before you can see the rainbow.
