1. "Do you work here?"

No actually i just wear this name tag and walk around asking if you help for fun.

2. "Do you have this out back?"

All that's really out back is an old coffee machine, so unless that's what you're looking the answer is no.

3. "Well, can you check?"

Me checking entails me going to the back and standing there for a sufficient amount of time so you think i really looked.

4. "I don't want to sign up for the credit card, so don't ask, okay?"

"Are you sure?"

5. "You guys don't have what I'm looking for, can you get it in for me?"

Do you really think we are going to special order something because you're too bothered to look somewhere else?

6. "Your store is way too over priced."

What do you want me to do about that, call corporate and tell them you complained again?

7. "Could you give me a discount or something?"

Yeah its 99% off, just for you.

8. "I've been waiting in this line forever!"

It's 1pm on a Saturday, what did you expect?