Sorry Self-Proclaimed Knights in Shining Armor, I am not your Damsel in Distress. I am not the Lady in Waiting. I am a Princess, but my life is not a Disney movie. My goal is not to have a guy come and save me with a kiss.

My real goal?

To not waste my life wishing.

A couple years ago, I was telling someone a few years older than me that I wished to be older. I wished to be in college, I wished to be graduated from high school. I wished my summer away, and then they told me to stop. They said “Don’t wish your time away because you’ll regret it”.

Instead of wishing my time away while I’m single, I want to embrace this season in my life. Instead of sitting and waiting for Prince Charming to come “save” me from the seemingly boring and lonely single life, I want to do these things:

1. Learn about myself

What do I love to do? What gets my heart beating fast? What makes me angry? What are my pet peeves? What are my bad habits? What are my good habits? What do I really think about ___? What do I believe in? What are my true values and how am I living them out? These are all good questions to answer before jumping into a relationship and learning about a whole other person. Finding their answers may take some time, and not all of them may be answered before I meet “Prince Charming”, but it is worth it to spend time on them and yourself.

2. Learn from my past

This isn’t just about learning from mistakes, it’s about learning how where I came from has shaped me as a person, in good ways and bad. What is it about my past that has affected my present? By going to college and living independently while interacting with people of different backgrounds, I've enjoyed sharing my own backgrounds with them and seeing how they are similar or how they differ. I have had time to mull over my own past and see it within me while living at college.

3. Learn what a wholesome relationship is like

I have never been in a serious, committed relationship, so getting a real look at real relationships is important to me, especially my own parents' marriage. It’s easy for me to think up this fantastical idea of what a relationship would be like, but for the most part, that’s not entirely real-life. Good or bad, I learn from other people’s insight and get a real-life picture of relationships.

4. Learn what I want for my future

What do I really want? What is my life's calling? What is my purpose for the future? Do I want to be able to travel a lot? Do I want a conventional 9-5 job? Do I want to have a lot of kids or no kids? Do I want to live in the city or the country? Do I want to live near my family or in a different country entirely? It’s fun to figure out these things as I go along in life while I’m single, but I also like the thought of keeping an open mind. Plans can always change!

5. Learn whose opinion really matters

I don’t need to listen to every person’s opinion. Just the opinions that matter, which are from my God, my immediate family members, my best friends, and my elders. I’ve learned to listen to those who want the best for me, who are wise, and who love me. I’ve allowed them to help me in the past even when I didn’t think I was wrong, and it was all for the better. I know they’ll help me in the future, too.

6. Learn to be patient

Definition: The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset (a.k.a. complaining). Patience is a very important quality. Patience is virtuous and admirable. Someone who is patient is very attractive to me, and I want to be the same. I can see it (or not) when I’m waiting for food in a restaurant with someone. When I’m in line at the grocery store with someone. When I’m stuck in traffic. When I'm still single and all my girlfriends are finding nice boyfriends (and potential life partners)! Being patient means you are willing to wait and if you receive the thing (or person) you were waiting for, you cherish it/them even more.

7. Learn to be considerate

Personally, I think being considerate towards others, whether it's your roommate, your friend, your family member, or even a stranger, goes a long way. It shows an aspect of love that goes beyond just being respectful. You are mindful of another person's needs, feelings, and comfort. You genuinely listen to another person's story. You are selfess in your actions toward the other person. Learning to be considerate and thoughtful is something I want to strive to do every single day I am single and every single day that I may be in a relationship.

8. Learn to be independent

I think there's this weird assumption in our society that if you're single you're independent, but if you're in a relationship you're automatically dependent on the other person. To me, being independent is a very important aspect of a relationship that goes hand-in-hand with being together and unified. I don't want to lose who I am to another person. I want to be myself and be with that other person. Learning to be independent doesn't happen overnight, though. It requires me to step out of my comfort zone and figure out how to overcome hard situations and tackle challenges. It requires me to go to places I've never been and talk to complete strangers. It requires me to ask questions and get help when I need it, but to not depend on another person to get things done for me or to make me happy.

Waiting doesn’t have to be horrible. Waiting doesn’t have to be boring. Don’t waste your single years. If you were to get married at an average age, you’d end up spending more time being in a relationship than out of one! Do the things you may not be able to in twenty years. Become the best you you can be. Don't wait to enjoy whatever season you are in right now!