Have you ever been in friend love before? It’s wonderful, isn’t it? You have met this person that exceeds every expectation you have ever had for anyone. When you are out of your mind with happiness, you want to share it with this person. When you feel shattered and utterly heartbroken, this person shares your grief because they understand you on such a deeply personal level. Nothing seems too trivial or weird to share with this friend. Your relationship is the friendship everyone dreams of finding at least once in their life.
Friend love goes far beyond regular friendship and completely changes everything you know about friendship. Once you’re in it, you know it. But looking at friend love from the outside in, and sometimes even from the inside out, can seem like there’s something more to the picture than friendship. So, here’s what you need to know about friend love from someone who has had it, cherished it, and lost it.
1. You don't want to date this person.
You just happen to think they are an amazing person that genuinely enriches your life with their friendship. Without them in your life, nothing would be the same. But you don’t give each other butterflies, because that would be weird.
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2. You want to lose sleep talking to each other after midnight.
After midnight, the world takes on a different quality. Things are infinitely more complex, yet shockingly simple. You want to contemplate your thoughts, dreams, and fears in that space and time together. You want to reach the point where you are so tired that nothing makes sense and everything is funny.
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3. You want to share the little things with each other.
Sure, to anyone else, a miniature thesis on why your favorite video game is the greatest thing in the world might seem ridiculous, but not to each other. That bad joke that made you laugh last week? A quote from a book you just finished reading? Or the random thoughts that just crossed your mind? You fell asleep in the shower and your mom bought Swiss cheese instead of provolone? You tell each other these things without questioning why.
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4. You make each other laugh at the best and worst times, and in ways that no one else can understand.
Whether it’s one of you making weird faces while the other is attempting to give a serious presentation, periodically creating terrible chemistry jokes, or making food art instead of working on your calculus assignment, those moments are the ones that you carry with you when your day is a little gloomy.
5. You believe in this person with every fiber of your being.
Nothing could make you lose faith in this person. You support their dreams in every way you can, because they are your person. When they lose faith in themselves, you remind them of all the reasons why they can and will succeed. Some days, you might even believe in them more than you believe in yourself. When this happens, they remind you of how worthwhile you are, too.
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6. You want them to have a love life.
Your best friend is the most amazing person you’ve ever met. You want someone else to see that, too. You want them to find someone that will love them deeply and passionately and fill their heart with joy. However, you will be critical of anyone that tries to love them, because they only deserve the best. It isn’t out of jealousy. It’s out of a fierce protectiveness, because you’ve seen what heartbreak does to them. When they find that person, you will be ecstatic for them and maybe just a little sad that you have to share their awesomeness with someone else.
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7. When they aren’t around, you miss them like crazy.
When you’re in friend love, this person becomes the lifeline that keeps you grounded. Everyday, there are a hundred things that remind you of each other. Naturally, you want to share all of these things because that’s what the two of you do. Missing them feels like the worst thing in the world. But you know that wherever they are, they’re probably thinking about the next random thing they want to tell you.
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8. You love this person.
It’s not the heart-eyed, hand-holding, kissing-on-street-corners kind of love. This love is purely platonic. It’s the share-your-favorite-music with, talk until 3AM, “let me know you made it home” kind of love. Sure, you might not ever say, “Hey, I love you.” But you don’t need to say it. Your friend love speaks for itself.
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