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8 Things I've Learned From Providence Area Uber Drivers

Not all heroes wear capes.

Nov 30, 2015

8 Things I've Learned From Providence Area Uber Drivers

They are there for you all hours of the night, they’re not too pricey, and sometimes they can even be more reliable than a suburban mom carpool. That’s right, the unsung heroes of the Providence community, Uber drivers. Being stuck in a stranger’s car for an undetermined amount of time leads to peculiar interactions and priceless life advice. Here’s what I’ve learned from our local super heroes:

1. One-way street signs are wildly irrelevant (especially on Thayer Street).

2. Lamar Odom was a URI basketball star.

Lammy, if you are reading this, your freshman year roommate is doing well! He drives for Uber and tells everyone he drives that you “married the craziest Kardashian” but that you guys are still best friends.

3. If you ask nicely, chances are your Uber driver will stop by a McDonald's after a night out.

Only if you promise to treat.

4. Sober Uber rides are incredibly uncomfortable.

Stay away.

5. “Men are never to be trusted. Also, after you’ve been married for 40 years, there is no point in getting a divorce.”

Personal experience?

6. If you’re lucky, your Uber driver may have a very eclectic taste in music, and they’ll open your eyes to some of the obscurities the music world has to offer.

For example, modern pan flute music.

7. Just because your Uber driver seems to be a nice, normal guy does not mean he won’t offer to take you with him to the Foxy Lady.

Needless to say, please never accept this offer.

8. DJ Pauly D from "The Jersey Shore" is not the real DJ Pauly D. He stole his name from a part-time Providence Uber driver, part-time DJ whose performing name is OG Pauly D.

There is still some unresolved tension.

Not only do the Uber drivers in the Providence area heroically get us from place to place safely, but they also share indispensable life lessons.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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8 Things I've Learned From Providence Area Uber Drivers

Not all heroes wear capes.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

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What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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