This story starts like all great stories start: over a few beers.
My close friend Trent, a recent Stonehill graduate, was with me late one night almost a year ago and we were discussing his post-graduation plans. Up until this point, Trent had envisioned himself camping and traveling through Alaska, Chris McCandless style. How original!
We discussed the possibilities of him being eaten by a bear or dying alone in the wilderness, and eventually reached the topic of the Appalachian Trail. Trent decided pretty fast that in the spring he would attempt to thru-hike it, which means he would start in Georgia and travel by foot to Maine. That’s about 2,180 miles of hiking. What followed was a pretty entertaining stream of selfies, snapchats, and stories I probably shouldn’t publish on the internet.
Eventually, when the curiosity of what it was like to not shower for two weeks while hiking 20 miles a day became too great, I decided to make the trip down to Pennsylvania to join him for a weekend. During my three-day trip, I learned a few things along the way. The first being:
1. Everyone knows your name (But not really).
On the AT (that’s trail lingo for Appalachian Trail, by the way), everyone you meet will ask you for your name. It sounds like a pretty standard practice, but when people introduce themselves as Cheesebeard and Dance Party, things can get a little confusing. These are two examples of trail names. You get a trail name by doing something stupid, memorable, or a combination of the two. Giving yourself a trail name is a big no-no. So naturally, when I introduced myself as Dan, people knew I was a trail tourist and not a real hiker.
2. Always bring a raincoat.
Trent: "Leave the coat in the car, the weather is supposed to be great!"
Weather: "Hahahaha. Here’s 10 hours of rain! Enjoy!"
3. Peanut Butter can be a meal.
We had to leave a lot of things in the car to shed weight, but one of the things we did make sure to pack was peanut butter. I swear to God, you can eat peanut butter for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Wash it down with some good whiskey, and you’ll be good for another five miles, or until you catch up with Hillbilly (a hiker's trail name).
4. You’ll meet some really genuine people.
Trail Angels are people who devote their own time and resources to helping hikers. They love the trail and what it stands for, and are always quick to help a stranger. We met a woman they call Trail Angel Mary, and boy, was she a trip. We walked into her house at 11:30 PM and she welcomed us with open arms. If you’re ever in Duncannon, Pennsylvania, look her up. You might have to squint through the haze of hand rolled cigarette smoke, but you’ll find a wonderful soul.
5. Clothing is Optional.
I would recommend wearing a good pair of athletic shorts and a moisture wicking shirt while you are hiking. But once you come to a muddy creek, or even a river under an overpass, all bets (and clothes) are off.
6. Hitchhiking is still a thing.
Once we finished our hike, we still had to get back to the car we had left in a parking lot the day before. Uber doesn’t appear very often in a town that has a smaller population than Stonehill, so our only option was to hitchhike. We got lucky once, when a mom with two dogs and one of her kids pulled over - they offered to take us closer to our destination. The rest of the time we looked sadly at cars as they passed by us, smiling, waving, and probably laughing at the dirty hippies on the side of the highway.
7. It costs a lot of money to live like a homeless person.
Between the rain gear, the hiking backpack, hiking poles, and a tent designed to basically fit in your pocket, hiking the AT is going to cost you a lot of money. It will cost you so much that you will try to save money by surviving on ramen and little else. Hiker hunger is real, with hiker’s usually consuming way less calories than they burn.
8. There is approximately one gentlemen’s club on the entire 2,800 miles of the trail.
We learned this when we stopped in Duncannon, Pennsylvania, to wash our clothes and get out of the rain for a night. The hotel owner threatened us with eviction if we brought any "skanks" back. We promised to be good, and under no circumstances bring anyone back to the hotel or go anywhere near The Cabin.
I sometimes catch myself looking at pictures of my trip, remembering the changes of fortune in our long hike and thinking all the amazing people I met along the way. One thing I know for sure, though, is that I will definitely be back, and you all should join me. Just bring a raincoat.
