My sister once said, “Mom, it really pisses me off that I was born and just expected to have to go out there and BE something, you know? That I can’t just be a kid anymore. Am I making sense? Never mind...” She trailed off looking away as if she shouldn’t have said anything at all. My mom replied, “I know exactly what you mean, honey.” This conversation got me thinking about all of the things that growing up has taught me so far in the transition into adulthood.
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1) You realize that your parents don't know everything
One of the scariest, but okay realizations in life is that your parents don't know everything. I realized this when I asked my dad when he lost his job, "Well Dad, what are we going to do? What's going to happen now?" And he just looked at me with blank eyes and said, "I don't know." This is the moment when I knew that my parents didn't have the answer to everything, which reminds me of the quote by Peter V. Brett, “Every child finds a day when they realize that adults can be weak and wrong just like everyone else. After that day, you are an adult. Like it or not”.
2) There is something out there bigger than yourself
Whether it's God, or just a spiritual feeling, you know there is someone or something out there watching over us who is in control of the universe. That there is something bigger than me, you, all of it.
3) You start to question, like, everything.
This happened for me upon entering philosophy class, nothing the teacher said seemed to be concrete, and as much as I tried to make sense of it, I couldn't. But it did spark a sort of interest in me, a questioning of things around me. "What really is the meaning of life?" I'd ask myself. Then I'd get so lost down that path and confuse myself that it was far more comforting to believe in what I already knew, for the moment at least.
4) You will experience heartbreak
Whether it comes in the form of your first break up, or seeing your mother cry and knowing your helpless to her pain, you will hurt too in this lifetime. The beauty in heartache is that you have experienced a love so great in your life that it triggers this feeling.
5) You really can't afford to get sick
Back in high school and elementary, getting sick was a vacation. You had the leisure to lie in bed, watch as much TV as you desired, and sleep at any hour comfortable to you. Now, you miss a class enough and you’re either completely lost in the class or dropped from the course, possibly withholding or altering your future.
6) You have to be strong
I attended a posh private school for most of my high school career, and a teacher once told us entitled teens, “It’s going to be a big surprise for you all once you get into the real world. This is just a bubble, you’re in a safe bubble and once you leave it, you’ll realize it very quickly”, and quickly I did. Moving to a public school I realized that people are cruel. Not everyone is going to respect you or tip-toe around your feelings, and you have to be ready for this. What people do is ultimately a reflection upon themselves, not you, remember that.
7) Your innocence will be lost
It happens to all of us. This usually occurs when you experience something traumatic, or heartbreaking, and you see plainly that there lies both good and bad in the world, and that the villains in the movies we watched growing up are unfortunately out there.
8) You have to make time for yourself
You've got a to-do list so long that you have no idea how you'll catch up. When I started out my first semester of college, I'd get so stressed it led me to a point of tears, calling my parents in a mix of frustration and a feeling of "not wanting to adult anymore." Once I’d calmed down, he'd tell me to take time to myself doing something I enjoy, such as going to a park, meditating, yoga, or praying. Whatever it is that brings you out of the chaos and back to your inner peace, is completely worth doing.
The biggest thing growing up has taught me is it’s okay to be pushed down, but it is definitely not okay to stay down. Don’t let the little things chip away at what you’re fighting for. Growing up is hard, but ultimately it will lead you to who you are and where you’re meant to be.
