I love my binder, like a lot, like a lot a lot. My binder helps me manage my dysphoria and interact with people which is something that has been difficult for me since puberty. The little piece of fabric is only second after top surgery. But there are still times when binders just suck.

1. When It’s Hot and Sweat Runs Under the Fabric

It’s gross, smelly, and just uncomfortable. The more humid it gets, the more I hate my binder.

2. The Dreaded Uniboob

It happens to everyone, small to large, where all the fat the binder is smashing just congeals to a giant uncomfortable, unattractive lump. Still, it’s better than two lumps.

3. When it Gets Stretched Out

That once nice, tight, almost too-tighter binder inevitably stretches out and becomes unsupportive and miserable. Fat just slushes from side to side, nothing looks flat or nice, and it sucks. It just sucks. Especially because the thirty bucks I have to shovel out for a new binder.

4. When it Gets Smelly

I only own one binder because I’m broke and they’re expensive but I wear my one binder everyday almost sixteen hours a day. It gets smelly… like really smelly. And I don’t want to wash it because if I wash it, it means I’m not wearing it and have to deal with the feeling of crippling dysphoria.

5. Swimming…

I love swimming. Swimming is the best, what I hate is swimming with a binder. Firstly, binders are expensive and chlorine eats them to nothing. Secondly, binders work great under loose fabric… not so great when that fabric is soaked skin tight…

6. Exercising…

You aren’t supposed to do this. Everyone knows that binders make it harder to breathe and other not so good things when used incorrectly but every so often you wind up having to run for a bus you are about to miss or have to take five flights of stairs… in the binder… that makes it hard to breathe. Not so fun.

7. Finally getting the damn thing adjusted… then lifting your arms

* Loud curse word* this annoys me. I will finally get everything settled and feel normal… then lift my arms or move and have everything suddenly shift back to the position I just straightened. It’s awful. Much hate.

8. When People Notice (and Call Attention To) It

This is awful. Absolutely the worst. I’ll be thinking I look sexy and flat and someone comes up and is like “are you wearing a bra/binder?” and suddenly I feel like everyone is watching my chest bounce as I walk. Instant destruction of my self-confidence.

These situations suck, a lot, but when they happen I try to remember to breathe and remind myself that I'm farther than I was yesterday, happier than I was before I came out, and more alive than I have ever been. Everything will work out.