8 Students in Your Lecture

It is almost as if there is a checklist of people you WILL have in your class. Some of which you will be able to spot on the first day, others shine later in the semester. Either way, you’ve probably run into these students at some point in your educational journey.

1. The Teacher’s Pet

The Teacher’s Pet is always noticeable on the first day of class. We know this because they went to the professor’s office before the first day of class.

The Professor and The Teacher’s Pet are now laughing about an inside joke they have from the previously stated office visit.

The Teacher’s Pet has also just severed any chance of peer acceptance for the rest of the semester.

2. The Muncher

Must you eat food that only comes in loud packaging?? If they are not eating food that comes: in plastic, individually wrapped, or easily accessible, they are most definitely eating carrots or apples, the two loudest fruits to consume. The good news is when your eat something crunchy your mouth gets dry. So let’s open a carbonated beverage!!

3. The Whisperer

Just in case you are having a hard time hearing over Sir Eats A Lot, have no fear, The Whisperer is hear (that’s a pun).

The whisperer takes on the heavy task of whispering comments, and or questions, he or she is too afraid to ask the professor during lecture.

What’s scarier than stating your opinion/question in front of your peers so everyone can learn? To The Whisperer, nothing is scarier.

Instead, The Whisperer decides to only distract the people within a 5ft radius of their seat by asking for clarification of what the professor said at least twice a class period. Luckily, you will, 100% of the time, be seated in this 5ft radius.

4. The Late Kid

The professor has now been talking for a solid 7 minutes. It doesn’t really matter anyways because you can’t hear anything thanks to The Muncher and The Whisperer.

Low and behold, The Late Kid shows up. This kid is a wreck and their papers are always crinkled in their backpack.

This would not be as large of a nuisance if they were digging them out of their backpack before class like the rest of the students. Nope. This kid just found the homework assignment stuck underneath his laptop, textbooks, a small dog, and an empty water bottle.

Then what does the Late Kid do? Walks in front of the class to turn in the assignment on the Professor’s desk. Nice.

5. The Social Media Checker

“Omg class is so boring”

“I totally know”

“Good thing I am only distracting the people behind me that can see I am clearly not following along on my computer screen”

“Omg me too, totally compromising my peers’ opportunity to learn”

“Nice, lol”

“Did you see Olivia’s huge mouth on The Bach..”

6. The Devil’s Advocate

If your professor just gave you an “end all be all” kind of conclusion, The Devil’s Advocate will surely come back with an exception.

A Devil’s Advocate has a tag line: “Well, what about…[explains situation that is completely arbitrary to the point the professor what trying to make]”

The Devil’s advocate does not discriminate. They pray on professors, small groups, peers, scholars, textbooks, presidents, you name it.

Do you have a logical theory you can back up with textual evidence?

“Well, what about [still irrelevant situation to what you proposed]”

7. The “Will This Be on The Exam?” Kid

This kid only talks in class about once every other week. The only question they ask: “Will this be on the Exam?”

This kid might not even show up for the first week of class. They also have spotty attendance immediately after an exam.

This student will probably show up less than you and still pull off at least a C in the class.

This kid will not listen to anything the professor said during lecture. This student also spent the last 20 minutes of studying before the exam memorizing the example essay so they can regurgitate it on the exam.

The last type of person you meet in your class?

8. A Confused Student

Why is this student so confused? Because they missed the first 10 minutes of lecture thanks to The Muncher, The Whisperer, and The Social Media checker.

Then, against all odds, the professor asked them to explain to their peers the one concept they missed in those first ten minutes.

Before they could even finish, The Devil’s Advocate is already formulated a surprisingly complicated rebuttal to whatever they came up with.

Is the professor even listening or are they just going to keep validating the Teacher’s Pet that tries to chime in like they are an assistant professor?

Then, just before that student can get useful feedback from the professor…

“Will this be on the exam?”

And that, Mom and Dad, is why I didn’t do as well as I had hoped for that semester(s).

Caitlin Lilly