There are certain things that every college student is accustomed to—a lack of food, a lack of money, and a lack of time which we wasted binge-watching Netflix. Because of this, it is safe to say that we as starving and broke college students have to stand together and move forward on our great big educational adventure. If your journey happens to bring you to East Tennessee State University, then there may be a few things you should be prepared to see.
1. It's a bird... it's a plane... it's... a squirrel?
Yes. It is true. For some reason, East Tennessee State University is home to the world's largest population of squirrels. Whether you are walking to class, grabbing a bite to eat, or attempting to avoid the preachers in front of the library, you are more than likely to run into one of our squirrels. And if you don't, then double check your GPS. You may be at the wrong university.
2. Speaking of those preachers...
If your failing grades, empty bank account, and lack of motivation weren't enough to destroy your self esteem, then just have a conversation with one of our guest "lecturers" in front of the library. I am sure that will do the trick.
3. Puppies!
Are you sad now? Don't worry. Head on inside and you are sure to find some major cuteness. As if the squirrels weren't enough... we also have therapy puppies!
4. Welcome to ETSU! We recommend getting your own salt truck.
The beautiful mountains, the birds, the trees, the flowers... too bad it all disappears in the winter. And if you were upset that you didn't get to go skiing over Christmas break, then think again! At East Tennessee State University, skis, snow boots, and your occasional Alaskan dog sledding team are often required to get to class.
5. Don't forget the free pancake breakfast!
If you are like me, broke and hungry, then you must never pass up a good free meal. And no free food has ever been quite as amazing as East Tennessee State University's Annual Free Pancake Breakfast. If you need a mental image, then think of The Walking Dead, except the zombies are hungry college students.
6. 15,000 students + 12 parking spots = oh, who cares?
Then people have the nerve to ask why your parking fines were more than your tuition. Well, when you pretend you're a faculty member every day of the week, then that's what happens.
7. When you see the Kroger tent during Welcome Week.
Bless the kind people at Kroger for caring about our well being and health. They understand the struggle of trying to pass every class and not drop out when we haven't been able to afford food and eat since last year's pancake breakfast.
8. The line at Chick-fil-A when you have 10 minutes to eat!
Well, if I take the amount of time until my next class starts, divide that by the number of people in front of me, and give myself five minutes to walk to class, then I have roughly a 1 in 2,000,000 chance of being in class on time. Oh, what the heck... These odds are still better than the odds I have of passing my Prob and Stats final.
Needless to say, East Tennessee State University is just like any other college university—and also very different. But regardless of where you find yourself this school year, always remember: Graduation begins today!
