It happened again: I got my first sunburn of the season, and mother nature gave no mercy. Every year it happens. Some of you may not know what I am talking about, but my pale friends with no chance of ever getting tan feel my pain (literally). No matter how careful you are, the sun seems to know exactly where to hit and ruin your life for about the next week. No matter the SPF worn, the limited sun time had or hopes and dreams you have to look like those tan VSCO girls you see in your feed Instagram feed, you end up a walking lobster. These are the horrific stages of the first sunburn of the season:

1.You think it will be fine, but you know deep down you are about to get burnt to a crisp.

You think you can avoid it. You put your sunscreen on, not 15 SPF or 30 SPF of course, you float the idea of the 50, 80, or 100, but don’t want to seem overdramatic.

2. “I’m not getting any color, wtf”

You are in the sun for an hour, and you haven’t seen a single trace of color coming your way. Soon, you will need to reapply that beloved sun protectant. But seriously, you are pale, why is nothing happening? Probably just reflecting the sun right off that bright white belly.

3. “Oh, maybe I am getting some color.”

You see some splotches of red appearing on your thighs, on your tummy, on one small corner of your chest. Typical. I’m sure it will be all even though. I mean, you put your sunscreen on perfectly all over.

4. Three Hours Later...

Okay, that’s enough sun for today. We'll try again tomorrow, maybe even get a little color for once. But it's hot out, and you’re sick of reapplying sunscreen. It’s time to hit the shade.

5. The first time you go inside...

You go to take your swimsuit off inside and look in the mirror. Oh no, there are a few spots of red showing up. I’m sure it won’t be bad. But at least you got some color.

6. The morning after

OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY. It is worse than expected. Red everywhere. Swimsuit still seems to be on you even though you took it off yesterday. HOW DO YOU BURN THE INSIDE OF YOUR BELLY BUTTON?

7. Three days later…

It still isn’t gone, showers are cringingly painful but, really, what else can you do? Aloe vera has become your new religion and you pray that someday this redness goes away.

8. One week later…

It’s all gone and you barely turned a shade tanner. You know that maybe the next sunburn or the one after will make you slightly less pale, but don’t get your hopes up. You know how pale you are and that never seems to change.