Depression is a disorder that makes the world seem too fast to handle as it slows one down into a submissive state. There are many allegories, similes, and metaphors that can help describe what depression is, but it proves to be a difficult thing as one’s depression is more personal and sometimes, indescribable. The best method of understanding, defining or relating to one’s depression is demonstrating how the disorder has effected the person through personal accounts. Some of the best instances of this is through song, and even though depression is not always clearly mentioned, it more obviously hinted at through the artist’s symbolism. As someone who deals with depression, I feel that one of the best catharsis’ - or ways to cope - is to find parallels in another’s struggle as it bridges the gap of loneliness that depression often wields. It permits an individual to find another perspective of looking at their disorder and as a possible method of comprehending what and how certain variables of depression can impact someone. In my opinion, these eight songs can connect with individuals, while carefully describing the effects that their depression may have on them, and most importantly, the feelings and reactions that the artist has with their inner turmoil.
1.”On the Other Side” – The Strokes
Coming from the not so celebrated "First Impressions of Earth", album, “On the Other side” is however, a song that should be celebrated. Julian Casablancas serenades us in his usual deep, unenthusiastic tones, about his anger, fear, and anxiety about the conventional society who seem to be so very different from him, almost like, they are on the other side of the universe, or maybe he is. He hates how different he is from them, how unaffiliated he feels from this community of many, hates these people from being so different from him but mostly fears his isolation, his inability to be like everyone else and that he has been abandoned by everyone. This is a very similar notion to have when depressed, that no one understands you, that you feel isolated, and that no one cares about you. “No one is waiting for me on the other side.”
2.”Fallin’” – Macklemore X Ryan Lewis
Macklemore? I know, but believe me, this song is heavy. It is a reiteration of the depression he endures and how inevitably it comes back no matter what he does to pleasure or distract himself. Be it booze, drugs, sex, or even self-harm, the torment and fall to depression is inescapable, making every day seem so difficult and unappealingly bleak. “I don’t know if I can get up today.”
3.”Pieces” – Sum 41
“Pieces,” to me, is like a journal entry of a depressed and desperate individual. Lyrics such as, “I tried to be perfect/but nothing was worth it,” “this place is so empty/My thoughts are so tempting,” and “I’m trying to let you know/That I’m better off on my own,” make for an honest and relatable song to connect to those who are suffering. It's a cry that says there is no point, and that I will always suffer, “I guess I knew that all along.”
4.”Fireworks” – Mitski
Mitski really has a song for every instance or feeling in life, and depression is no exception. This is a very mature and allegorical song that is quite emotional. The song begins to describe herself with depression, and like many others, “you won’t see a change/Save perhaps a slight gray in my eye.” It is rare that someone with depression cries out and appears depressed. Usually the person masks their struggle, like a secret identity but instead of their secret identity being a superhero, it is a scared sh%tless kid in a hollow adult shell. The song continues to depict the depressed Mitski hiding her pain, “being married to silence,” or when she finds a knife in her side, she pulls it out “without questioning why.” However, all the sadness and self-hatred explode after so long, like fireworks, and she finally feels the emotions she has been lacking, and she comes to terms with her memories that have helped to bring her down. It is something of a happy ending, but the ending just happens to be the chorus, maybe to say, there is no end to it. “I’ll hear the fireworks outside/And I’ll listen to the memories as they cry, cry,
5.”Hurt” – Nine Inch Nails
This is a very dark, but beautiful song about the introspection of depression. The song begins with lead singer, Trent Reznor, saying how he is hurting himself to feel something again, to feel alive but it only stings for a little. Reznor, tries to pin-down what he has become, and what that is, is unrecognizable. “I wear this crown of shit/Upon my liar’s chair/Full of broken thoughts/ I cannot repair.” Reznor thinks he has become a worthless monster that only hurts himself and others, and it is omnipresent in the lyrics “everyone I know/Goes away in the end,” and “I will let you down, I will make you hurt.” The instrumental and Reznor’s voice, is messy. At times loud and then soft, the sound seems so spacious but then so close; that is depression, inconsistent, and is what is so genius about this song. “Beneath the stains of time/The feelings disappear.”
6.”Adam's Song” – Blink 182
What is incredible about Blink 182 is that they can evoke many mature themes in their songs that become very popular, rivaling pop songs about the same old tired bubblegum sh%t. “Adam’s Song” is about the suicide of a young man, and you can sing the chorus to a stranger and odds are they will sing it with you or at least recognize the song because it is so damn catchy and remarkable. Growing up, when I first began feeling the aches of depression I felt solace in this tune, and now looking back the song and its lyrics it is easy to see why. “I couldn’t wait till I got home/To pass the time in my room alone.” It was a song that spoke about the struggles some teenage kids had, the kids who did not fit in and feel happy all the time. Specifically, this song focused on the hypotheticals, which is what those with depression and suicidal thoughts always consider. If I were to go through with it, who would care? What would my mom do after I’m gone? Will I be remembered? The ‘what if’s’ can be very dangerous, and this song is an ode to those poor kids who feel like there is no there answer. “I’m too depressed to go on/You’ll be sorry when I’m gone.”
7.”Dark Come Soon” – Tegan and Sara
One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands, I really connect to this one. This song is the dichotomy that comes with depression. You want someone to care, to be there for you but you also want to push them away, and protect them from you. “Hold out for the ones you know will love you/Hide out from the ones you know will love you.” This indecisiveness and struggle is sometimes unbearable and very confusing for someone, because what is the right thing to do? You need help but you do not want to be a burden, and maybe you like the depression, because it is something that is consistent and will always be there, but it is terrible. It is like an abusive partner in a relationship, consistently there, but there with a clenched fist. Sometimes you end up thinking if I escape I will not have to feel this anymore, I would not have to hurt myself and others anymore. “Dark you can’t come soon enough for me.”
8.”I’m Fine on the Outside” – Priscilla Ahn
This song played in the end credit scene for Studio Ghibli’s “When Marnie Was There,” and it was not enough that the film made me cry, because this song continued make me cry until I looked like a little baby. This song takes so many facets of depression and fits it elegantly into one song and it is so powerful. The heavy theme contrasts perfectly with the softness of Priscilla Ahn’s voice almost as if she is accepting of the feeling felt from her depression, which sometimes feels like a lie that we tell to reassure ourselves that everything will be okay. The song describes how growing up she was alone, unable to make friends, but she became so saddened by this that she too used the hypothetical ‘what if?’ “Would you cry if I died/Would you remember my face?” This contemplation, as those who preform similar pensive acts, makes depression worse as you are giving up and giving the depression the power. What comes from this is a wave or rush of grief, sadness, melancholy, anger, confusion, anxiety and irritability that stalks you till no end. “Sometimes I feel lost sometimes I’m confused/Sometimes I find that I’m not alright/And I cry, and I cry, and I cry.” However, you would not be able to see this confusion or feeling of loss or isolation because she “sound[s] fine on the outside.”
