The pictures of seemingly happy couples flood your Instagram feed. You're always the third wheel. You try to put yourself out there, but you can't seem to catch feelings for anyone. You have no desire to be in a relationship; however, there's a part of you that feels like you should be in one. If all your friends have significant others, shouldn't you have a significant other also? To put it frankly: No. And I'm here to tell you why.
1. You're young.
This one is obvious, but it's true. Remind yourself that you're still young. You have so much life left to live. Yes, your friends are in relationships. So what? This is amazing for them, but it doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship as well. You have your entire life ahead of you, and you don't need to force something simply because you believe it's the correct thing to do. You deserve the absolute best! Don't settle for an average relationship when you're extraordinary all on your own.
2. It's better to be happy and single than to be miserable and dating someone.
This ties into my previous point. Why would you voluntarily keep yourself in a painful, unhealthy relationship just for the sake of being in it? If you don't truly like the person, don't get into the relationship. If you begin the relationship and are unhappy, end it. I know this is easier said than done, but you deserve the utmost happiness.
3. It's wonderful to not deal with the stress of a relationship.
You don't have to worry about silly arguments, or about stressing out when they're not replying to your texts. You have school, work, and other important aspects of your life to handle. A relationship sometimes brings unnecessary anxiety.
4. You have so much left to see and experience.
You need to travel the world. You need to be able to accept that dream job across the country, should you want to do so. You don't need anything holding you back. I know that ideally, a relationship should encourage you to do these things; unfortunately, this is not always the case.
5. It's perfectly fine to be picky.
You just don't understand the point of dating someone if you don't see a future with them. Dating "just to date" has never made much sense in your mind. You'd rather just be friends with the person and develop a relationship in that sense. This is absolutely acceptable. Keep being picky until you find the person who leaves you with no doubts. I mean, if your lifelong happiness is at stake, I think it's okay to be specific about what you want.
6. It's important to let go of your past before you move forward.
As someone who doesn't often develop feelings for another person, when you actually do, those feelings stay with you. Because you're an all-or-nothing type of individual, when you actually like someone, you like them quite a lot. You most likely have that one person whom you can't completely get over, and this prevents you from developing feelings for a new person. You will get over this person. I promise. You will let them go, but this will happen when you're ready. When it does happen, you'll be able to move forward and develop feelings for someone new and incredible.
7. You need to make yourself happy first.
This sounds cliche, I know, but it's true. You need to love yourself and be content with who you are as a person. You need to fall in love with your life before you can share it with another human being because this will lead to a successful relationship that simply expands your happiness rather than fueling it. Do not depend on another person to create joy in your life. You must be able to do this on your own.
8. There's a reason you haven't found your person yet.
It's impossible to know what the reason is, but you must trust in this and have faith that there's a purpose for everything. One day, you will look back at this point in your life and it will all make sense. You'll understand why things didn't work out with someone and you'll understand why you've always had a hard time committing to a relationship. I know it's tough to remain patient, but trust in the process. Sometimes, it's the processes in life that teach us the most. Right now, you're in the process of growing, developing and learning about yourself as a human being.
I know this article may sounds somewhat cynical and pessimistic, but that's not the message I'm trying to convey. I truly believe once you find the person you're supposed to be with, the stress and difficulties that inevitably accompany a relationship will be worth it. This person will make you so happy that you'll be relieved that you waited so long for them to arrive. The point I'm trying to make is that this will happen when it's supposed to happen, and until then, you do not need to be in a relationship. Keep being the strong, independent person that you already are.
Live your life to the fullest and be patient. It will all make sense some day.
