A lot of smack is talked about Millennials, and while we’ve definitely got some great minds among us… after reading this you’re probably going to worry about the future of the world. Enjoy!
1. Vines
Honestly if you told me 10 years ago that my entire generation would be able to relate to each other by reciting six second viral videos about ‘eyebrows on fleek’ and ‘what are those,’ I’d say you were on crack. Now we’re all still laughing about crack kid getting hit in the face with a basketball and would still be ‘doing it for the vine,’ if it was still around, that is. #RIPVine
2. Gifs
Oh, technology. What did people do before they could send moving images to express their reactions?! Typing *eye roll* is nothing compared to that gif of Tina Fey’s legendary eye roll, or Judge Judy’s sass. If you don’t use gifs on a daily basis…you’re doing texting wrong. End of story.
3. ‘Clout’
A newly developed millennial obsession, clout is just the reincarnation of ‘swag,’ ‘trendy,’ ‘funky,’ ‘psychadelic,’ ‘bitchin,’ and so on. The mumble rappers generation started wearing Kurt Cobain’s famous Christian Roth frames, and the rest of the millennials followed suit. Now, they’re no longer just a pair of glasses, they’re a lifestyle – and how much ‘clout you have’ is a serious thing that people actually say in, like, real conversation. Baffling.
4. Bitmojis
I remember when bitmoji’s came out in middle school, people DID NOT think they were cool. I had the app for probably a day, and then deleted it because it was pointless and stupid. Now, snapchat adopted the weird looking cartoons, and they’ve become an epidemic that every person with a smartphone seems to love. I’m not saying it’s not fun to change my bitmoji’s outfit, I’m just saying, these alien animations are definitely unnecessary to our existence.
5. Dabbing
Similar to clout, dabbing was created as a dance move by Atlanta rap group Migos, and through the internet has transformed into its own beast. Everyone from babies, to sports stars, to cartoon characters, to politicians are dabbing – and I’m NOT here for it. What started out as a joke has somehow made its way into our dancing repetoire, and once you start it’s scientifically proven that you CANNOT stop. Let’s work together to end this epidemic.
6. Lil Pump
I’m sorry, I know mumble rap in general is kind of a ‘dumb, millennial thing,’ and I’m not saying I don’t love the song ‘Gucci Gang,’ but Lil Pump and his gang are 16 year old idiots not worthy of international fame. Through saying the word ‘esketit,’ they’ve somehow united a ragtag group of teenagers who think it’s normal to give their ‘mom 2 glocks.’ Pray for our generation.
7. Millennial Pink/Pastels
Lovingly referred to as ‘Tumblr pink’ and ‘rose quartz,’ Millennial pink has actually been a phenomenon since the invention of the pastel color – but we have naturally, as millennials, gone way over board and decorated everything we own with muted, pastel colors. Yes, this is ‘aesthetically pleasing,’ but if I see another room decorated in glorified baby, I’m going to scream.
8. Holo-everything
From eyeshadow, to clothing, to shoes, the phones, to food…is there anything you can think of that DOESN’T have a ‘holographic’/sparkly aspect to it, these days?! I’m not saying I hate anything that sparkles, I just think having your nails painted so shiny they could probably cause major accidents on the highway if the light hit them in the wrong way is…extra. I vote we go back to regular colors…and ditch the unicorn aesthetic.
In conclusion, what the F are we doing with our lives?!
