In case you haven’t noticed, every company really wants you to buy their products, and one of the most effective tactics in getting women to buy something is to convince them that there is something wrong with them. We can look back at those ridiculous ads from the 1930s that tell women if their stockings aren’t beautiful, if their hands are pruney from dish soap, or if their dirty clothes smell their husbands would leave them. When I get married, if my husband leaves me because my lipstick smudges when I kiss him, he can go; I won’t miss him. While it may not be as blatant, people (especially women) are still being bullied into thinking they need to buy certain products. So I am here to clear the air. Here are some things that are completely normal parts of being human that you don’t need to worry about:
1. Your Armpits
Vogue and Dove think you have ugly armpits! No, they think everyone has ugly armpits. But if everyone has ugly armpits, isn’t that just what armpits look like? If you have beautiful armpits, won’t you have the weird armpits? Anyway, Dove made special deodorant that will fix your armpits if you feel so inclined. But please don’t. Your armpits are lovely the way they are.
2. Your Pores
Everyone has pores. I’m sorry to tell you, you’re covered in them. I’m no scientist or doctor, but I think you need them for life. But there are plenty of products out there to shrink them or make them better. (better as in prettier, not a cool laser-shooting way) You should definitely wash your face for personal hygiene, but other than that, your pores are fine.
3. Looking Your Age
Everyone is trying to profit off this one. Nobody is mad at you for being however old you are. Ok, so some people are mad about that, but that’s a different thing. But if you don’t look at least ten years younger than you are, there are problems. There’s lotions, there’s procedures, there’s even neck exercise machines. It doesn’t matter what you do, necks are dead giveaways for age. You’re allowed to be however old you are. Not even just allowed, you have to be however old you are. If you took your time of being 19, you have to take your time of being 49. Do not let anyone shame you for your ability to show off how many times you’ve revolved around the sun.
4. Your Cycle
As my mother puts it, “Roughly half the world menstruates, and the other half needs to get over it.” Forget the pressures commercials put on you to go out when you don’t feel up to it, forget the delivery services because it’s too “shameful” to buy hygiene products in the store. You are woman, hear you roar.
5. Your Cellulite
I don’t know what to tell you. Almost everyone has cellulite. Have you ever been talking to someone and they tell you their biggest insecurities and you are so confused because you never noticed those things about them? That’s how everyone feels about your cellulite. I hope it doesn’t hurt your feelings, but no one cares.
6. Your Ability to Grow Hair
Spoiler: If you have lovely, thick, fast-growing hair on your head, it is not confined to your head. Now, don’t get me wrong, if you love the feeling of soft calf, go ahead and shave that leg, girl! But stop feeling pressured because Gillette thinks boys won’t like you if you have hair on your legs. Boys won’t notice unless they’re touching your legs, and if he is touching your leg, he should feel blessed anyway.
7. Your Hair Color
If it’s gray, it needs to be your natural color (well, your old natural color). If it’s your natural color, it needs to be a brighter version of your natural color. I’m sorry, but if you have a problem with the color the Lord gave me, you should take that up with Him. Like shaving your legs, if you wanna dye your hair, go for it! But, again, don’t do it because you feel like there is something wrong with you.
8. Your Teeth
Apparently, they’re not white enough. I do all that teeth brushing and flossing business daily. In my almost two decades of living, I’ve never even had a cavity. But I for one would not pass Crest’s signature “Tissue Test,” judging the color of my teeth. Like some other mentioned things, the only reasons to whiten your teeth is vanity, so if you want those things sparkling, do it. But honestly, how white do those things need to be? I know, like a tissue.
So in conclusion, you look fine. Go live your life!
