I know. With all the articles coming out this time of year to incoming freshmen, it should seem like they're the most prepared group of students in the country and should never need advice again. I imagine, at this point, that freshmen reading these articles is a lot like listening to your grandparents tell you something and everything over Thanksgiving dinner while you lean, bored, on your phone with a polite smile. They mean well, but you're ready to find out for yourself.
Now, as someone who took what we five year seniors like to refer to as a "victory lap" to make ourselves feel better about not graduating on time, I feel very qualified to dish out this advice to these children who have, literally, no idea what's in store for them.
1. Do NOT skip class. Seriously. Don't do it.
I'm not telling you this from a seat of superiority. I'm not telling you this because I never skipped a class and got good grades and a flawless GPA. I'm not telling you this because I think it's just something you should say to young students. I'm telling you this because it's one hundred percent freaking true. One or two or the usual three excused classes the professor gives you is fine. Sometimes you're sick. Sometimes you're too busy to go to class. Sometimes your comfy bed just seems like the more logical choice on a cold fall day. But beyond that? Stop it. Get your ass out of bed. Suffer through the class. Take shitty notes. Shitty notes and a point for attendance is better than no notes for the final and no extra attendance points to help you out. I promise. If you actually try and go to class (that you're paying a lot of money for by the way) you won't be trying to schedule your senior year in a panic while realizing that you don't have enough credits for making the Dean's List or graduating because you failed too many classes by not showing up. The beer will still be there when you get back. Which leads me to my next point:
2. Partying is a marathon, not a sprint.
Having access to all the booze you could want, that your upperclassmen friends and the older active sisters and brothers in your Greek organization can get for you is so. tempting. I get it. Why not drink until 4am every Wednesday through Saturday? The house parties, the mixers, the date parties? It's like one right after the other and God forbid that you take it easy one of those nights. I'm not here to tell you not to drink. By all means - get drunk. I'm not here to be a hypocrite and tell you to wait until you're twenty-one to start drinking. I am here to tell you not to be stupid about it. I am here to tell you, you have four years of weekends and occasional week days and Halloween's and St. Paddy's Day's to drink your face off four. If every single weekend since Move-In day you're throwing up and waking up on your bathroom floor at 6 in the morning in a world of hurt - maybe just turn down a little bit. The shots will wait. The kegs will be back. No one wants to be the senior that can't do this shot or that shot because they got too sick off them when they were a little freshman. Just pace yourself.
3. Treat ramen like it's the devil.
You know, unless that's all you can afford. Then at that point, you gotta do what you gotta do. For me personally and a lot of others I know, the Freshmen 15 wasn't real. The stress of being in a new place, with harder work, walking to get everywhere and being involved in very active clubs helped me keep it off. Sophomore year though? I had my own place and had no meal plan. Ramen was easy and cheap and full of carbs. The Freshmen 15 might not be accurate but the Sophomore 15? Oh yeah. Make it the Sophomore 25. It's awful and it's all because noodles are easy to make when you're dead tired. There are ways to avoid it. There are better groceries to buy. Take advantage of your mom offering to help you get groceries when she visits. You'll regret all those chicken flavored packets when you're sweating your ass off at the gym.
4. Your adviser/Career Development is your lifeline.
They might not know it. They might not like it. But too bad. Don't feel bad about emailing them several thousand times to clarify what you need clarified or to get information about how internships work. These people are in place to help your lazy ass when you wait until the last minute to figure these things out. So while you really shouldn't wait until the last minute, take advantage of them (without being an asshole of course). If they don't like it? Ditch them and find a new one. It's a lot like dating. Be with someone that wants to help you grow. Is that what dating is like? I don't know.
5. Go Greek.
Don't roll your eyes. Listen. Give rush/recruitment a chance. The worst thing that can happen is that you meet some new people that don't interest you that much. The best thing that can happen is that you find an amazing sisterhood or brotherhood full of people that will have your back and build you up for the next four years of your life and even after. You'll go to events, mixers, philanthropy events, spring breaks. You won't regret a single minute of it (okay, you'll regret it a couple of times when chapter runs over by thirty minutes and you're missing the dollar bucket night special, but that's beside the point). By the time you're a senior you'll be crying at your last chapter meeting and wondering where the time went. It's never too late to go Greek but the sooner you do it; the more memories you can make. Give Greek life a chance.
6. Go to the football games.
Stop rolling your eyes! I am slightly biased by this point, I will admit. I was on the marching band for five years, therefore I went to every single football game at my college from 2011 to 2016. That's a lot of football. That's a lot of performances. I'm not mad about any of it. Not even the games that were so cold I couldn't feel my feet or hands. Not even the games we lost. Football games are fun even if you don't actually watch football. There's time to hang out with your friends, doing something that diverges from what you would normally be doing. There's the opportunity to take the perfect #basic Instagram pics. There's the opportunity to experience actual school pride when the football team wins against a rival school. It's just fun. You're not too cool to go. As freshmen you're uncool by principle and you won't be able to change that, so the least you can do is stop acting like you're too good to go to the games and just have a good time.
7. Get over it.
College exposes us to so many new experiences and people. Some we will like, some we won't. Some we think we liked then end up seeing it for what it is and not so much. You'll get unfair grades and unfair treatment and friends you met on move in day will be strangers at graduation. It happens. To survive college though, and by extension - life, you need to just get over it. Things will not work out in your favor 90% of the time. Hiding in your bed and pouting will not help. I mean, it'll help a little. It's okay for five minutes, but for two years? Just get over it. Move on. That guy won't want to date you. That place won't want to hire you. Your instructor won't want to give you full credit on your shitty paper. Get over it. It makes survival that much easier.
In truth, you incoming freshmen have no idea how lucky you are right now. You are starting fresh and perfect in a new place, in a world bigger than your dumb high school and all you have to do is embrace it and not be a dumbass. So don't screw it up, for the rest of us recent graduates that wish we could go back and do it all again. Make us proud.