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71 Things You Learn In College

Well, I hope you learn these things.

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71 Things You Learn In College
Miramar Laguna Beach

1. Coffee and energy drinks are necessities.

2. Always have a bottle of Advil nearby. In your nightstand. In your car. In your book bag. Everywhere.

3. How to stressfully watch Netflix all night while simultaneously avoiding one project, three papers, and studying for four quizzes.

4. How to decorate your first room/apartment with like, $20.

5. How to finish a paper with the exact minimum length requirement. Not a sentence more, not a sentence less.

6. Just because it "fits" in the washing machine doesn't mean it should. Break down and do two loads.

7. How to email a professor and not sound like a middle school dropout.

8. Going off of number seven, you learn how to not become enraged by their one word response followed by, "Sent from iPhone".

9. How to use coupons. Lots and lots of coupons.

10. Gatorade should always be in your refrigerator from Thursday-Sunday.

11. How to handle being homesick. Coping means calling your parents, grandparents, and friends from high school on a regular basis.

12. How to use a fax machine.

13. Just because you passed high school physics by "winging it" doesn't mean that will work now. Studying for college is necessary and intense.


14. Your major isn't "easy" or "irrelevant" compared to your friend's major. You is smart. You is kind. You is important.

15. Taco Tuesday shouldn't always turn into Tequila Tuesday. Especially when you have an 8 A.M. the next day.

16. All Nighters do not always equal an A+. Not even close.

17. How to make new friends.

18. More importantly, how to make forever friends. Friends that are good for you and your future.

19. How to schedule a doctor's appointment.

20. Finding the balance that works for you for when to stay in on the weekends, and when you need to go out and enjoy yourself.

21. Rumors aren't a thing anymore, like at all. Probably because there are too many people on campus, but we'd like to think it's because we've matured.

22. How to tell your roommate that they're being too loud/rude without turning your shared space into a war zone.

23. How to shut off a fire alarm when you forget about the pizza rolls.

24. How to drive in circles around a parking deck with six other equally frustrated students.

25. Who to bum meal swipes off of when you run out.

26. How important/rewarding it is to wash your sheets every two weeks.

27. You become a magician with dry shampoo and a hat because taking a shower would require waking up earlier.

28. How to tailgate and make it to the game afterwards.

29. How to use a money order/write a check.

30. The importance of being involved. Join a campus organization, play on an intramural sports team, explore your city, and just get out of your room.

31. What to buy at the grocery store for actual meals. Chips and ice cream don't count (but buy those too).

32. Time management. Eventually you will realize procrastination can only be acceptable in small doses.

33. The two most important apps are Uber and Venmo.

34. How much you love your mom's cooking. Or any home cooked meal, to be honest.

35. Going home sometimes is okay.

36. With that being said, don't go home every weekend. You'll miss out on all the great people and experiences around you.

37. What is and is not appropriate for social media. Your future employers probably won't find your posts as funny as you did.

38. How, when and where to get free things. T-shirts, cups, stickers, keychains, and any other junk you might want to collect.

39. The extreme importance of FLASH DRIVES. Keep everything on a flash drive or face the consequences of a crashed computer during exam week.


40. It's okay not to have all of the cool expensive things. Honestly, all of that cool rich kid crap was left in high school. "Daddy's money" won't get you very far here.

41. The school offers free tutoring and it is a really good thing. Might as well make use of all the things you're thousands of dollars are funding, am I right? Yes, I am.

42. Planners, calendars, and lists are beautiful things. Forgetting important things such as your exam schedule is not quite as beautiful.

43. Just because you don't check your bank account doesn't mean you aren't broke. (BTW you will probably get charged an overage fee that could've bought you like four Cookout trays.)

44. Always, always, always ask for a student discount code.

45. Ikea serves food, and their breakfast is like two dollars. That is cheaper than McDonald's my friends.

46. There is a thin line between hot and slutty outfits. If you feel uncomfortable before you go out, I can promise you will feel worse when everyone is staring.

47. You have two addresses. Your actual living space, and the library.

48. Too many trash cans can make for a trash morning.

49. How to stay awake for 48 hours straight and still make it to your classes. And then sleep for 48 hours straight afterwards.

50. Mops serve multiple purposes. They clean your floor, andddd make your upstairs neighbors shut up at 2 A.M.


51. Taking containers for leftovers in the dining hall is not shameful. It's innovative.

52. The Freshman 15 is very real. It's easy to get yourself into, and much harder to get out of.

53. Sophomore, junior, and senior year are no different in the weight gaining process.

54. You will have your car towed at some point in your four years as a college student.

55. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and take an 8 A.M. or a three hour seminar. Persevere.

56. C's do not always "get degrees". They can prevent you from getting into you major, so slack off wisely my friends.

57. You are "just like realizing stuff" -Kylie Jenner.

58. The line to Chick-Fil-A on campus will always be outrageous, but you will always wait anyway.

59. Sleeping in until lunch time is great in theory, but in the long run you will hate yourself for developing the habit.


60. Sharing your location with your roommates isn't a bad idea. Whether it prevents them from accidentally over hearing you rant about how they ate your last frozen corn dog OR when you lose your phone it makes for easy damage control.

61. How to dress from any themed party. Toga? Cut a pillow case. 80s? Neon colors and band t-shirts.

62. Your "type" of significant others will probably change. The cool guy who doesn't care about his grades suddenly isn't so attractive anymore.

63. You will definitely change. A couple of times actually.

64. When you go on Spring Break, wear sunscreen even though your mom isn't there to yell at you until you do. Sunburn is not "lit".

65. Your parents aren't as clueless as you thought in high school. They actually have a lot of good advice. Take time to listen.

66. There is no difference between pajamas and the clothes you wear to class. T-shirt and norts (nike shorts) every single day.

67. You will learn how much things actually cost. Phone chargers are like $20 and laundry detergent is around $10. Why is it so expensive to just live?


68. How much you love your pets at home will be put into perspective.

69. You will become a pro at conserving your data. You learn this after your parents threaten to shut your phone off.

70. You learn how to live without your nanny... @ Corrine.

71. Finally, (hopefully), you learn what you want to do with your life.


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