A new season of a show brings new questions and Riverdale is no exception. Here are 70 thoughts from the most recent episode and the season so far.
******** Spoilers Ahead**********
1) Damn Toni, that was quick, but I see you girl.
2) Is Nick Dead??
3) Okay false alarm but I lowkey wish the Black Hood Ms. Grundied him.
4) Oh and he wants to be calling people bitches now alright mhm, keep talking.
5) Okay Black Hood, keep getting creepy, not like I’m not uncomfortable.
Sidenote: The Black Hood reminds me of a more vicious Phantom of the Opera minus the questionable romance (hopefully not).
6) Really Archie. You up? You couldn't type good morning? Smh.
7) Damn, Ms. Blossom are we serious right now? What type of mother are you? No wonder Cheryl burned the house down and had a mental breakdown. I can't.
8) Cheryl girl, I know it’s hard but you don't always have to be indestructible.
9) Oh, Toni and Jug just cuddled. That’s a letdown. My first comment is revoked.
10) Lol, “she’s more into girls anyway” okay Toni. I know you’re trying to let him down easy but let’s be honest, we all saw the way you were looking at him.
11) I want more Southside Alice Cooper!!
Girl, what did you do? Who hurt you? I want to know! Alice Cooper’s involvement in the Southside serpents was hinted at in season 1 in her brief exchange between her and FP Jones, but I want to see more. Where did she come from? What’s her story and how did she manage to destroy all evidence of her past? The most recent episode unraveled one layer of the story but I sense that there’s at least 100 more to go and I’m here for all of them. Honestly this hypocritical drug raider, problematic social justice crusader act is getting a bit old.
12) Yes, Alice, we get it. You want everyone to think Betty is a walking angel on earth and not serpent spawn. Girl, move on.
13) Wow, Hiram, why you gotta call people out like that? Alice has a mugshot but you have a list as long as Santa Claus’. Slow your roll there
14) Yes, blame the Southside. We get it. But if you want to find the true source of evil, look in the mirror.
15) Yes, lock them up because as we’ve seen mass incarceration certainly does the trick.
16) Okay, Archie, I see you trying to defend the Southside. However, I also know that you don't like them so in the words of Oprah “what is the truth?”
17) Yes Veronica, call out Nick!
18) Wow, Sheriff, protect Nick why don't you? It sucks that this is actually a more realistic aspect of the show.
19) Mayor shut up. You truly are trash. One of your own caused all of these problems but I guess out of sight out of mind and yeah Clifford, I’m looking at you.
20) OMG Can this mayor kindly sit down and shut up? I cant with her.
21) Gentrification, gentrification, gentrification...
Between Hiram Lodge’s development plans and the Mayor’s vendetta against crime and the scourge that she thinks is the Southside, Riverdale keeps showing that it only wants “one kind” of resident. Unfortunately, they can't seem to realize that they’re moving from the Serpents to a different kind of demon.
22) TONI!!! NO!!!
23) I’m loving this music though. Shazam it is.
24) Sweetpea! Oh Lord, I truly cannot right now.
25) Yes, Kevin, let’s tell the same Sheriff who defended Nick in the first place and consistently does nothing in this town. Great idea! I know he’s your dad but let’s be honest, he’s not that good at being a sheriff.
26) Honestly, Veronica, same. Families protect their own after all.
27) Archie, can we please think rationally for once? Tell Mayor McCoy about the gangs she equally demonizes.
28) Thank you Jughead for that response. It seems that your friend can’t descend from his Northside cloud to reality.
29) Cheryl, girl, I’m just going to not. I know that you’re coping the best way that you can, so carry on sis.
30) Okay, you said yes to that Sugar Man question a little too quickly. The Blossoms just get creepier and creepier with each episode, don't they?
31)That’s a pretty elaborate tale for a drug dealer, but alright then.
32) Archie, people literally get year-long sentences for drugs. Be grateful that you just have to pick up some trash for a day.
33) I’m sorry but Cheryl’s makeup is so amazing. She might have come to a big revelation about the Sugar Man but her nails and eyelashes have me shook.
34) Yassss! B & V back together again! Finally! This lone wolf stuff was just irritating me.
35) FP! For an alleged gangster, he’s one of the most rational people on this show. Go figure.
36) Can this show stop raising my blood pressure every five minutes?
37) Damn Ms. Blossom call Cheryl out. “The fire you caused!” You right.
38) Can you guys stop being snobs for a second? The opioid crisis is real and it’s more than just needles. People are suffering, and there are so many people who are just getting caught in the crossfire.
39) Yes, Veronica come through with the clapback!!
40) Why is this moron back again? Really Nick, can’t you just disappear? Just fly to Aspen in your private jet or something and leave “Sharon” alone.
41) You can throw money at things but don’t forget that the Lodge’s throw hands. Watch your back.
42) I feel like the witches from Macbeth should just predict when he’s about to roll up like bubble bubble toil and trouble.
43) “Begging for it?” Really, we’re doing this? Square up Nick because I’m about to give you another black eye at this rate.
44) You can just feel the privilege rolling off of his tongue. Must be nice.
45) Betty, who are you? One minute you’re breaking news stories, the next you’re fixing cars. I am intrigued. Yes, queen!
46) Ms. Blossom, can you stop being trash? Your daughter needs you and your instinct is just to throw money at the problem. Newsflash, that solves nothing. Just be a mother for once. I know Cheryl is dramatic but she really is hurt on the inside, I mean, your family is kind of a mess after all.
47) Don’t throw the Lodges under the bus to cover up your inadequacy.
48) To agree with Jughead you truly are an enigma, Betty Cooper.
49) But seriously though, what are the Lodges about to do to Nick. I say off with his head!
50) Yes Cheryl, come through with the looks!
51) Really Archie, Really?!?! Not only was the serpents’ autonomy on the line, Jughead’s literal home was at stake.
Sidenote: Jug looks so damn good in that jacket, just saying. All black: Definitely his look.
52) Okay, double agent Archie. I see you but I still don't agree with you.
53) LMAO “Careful you don't get burned again.”
54) Good job Ms. Blossom, finally being a mom.
55) Wow. The Blossoms are actually contributing to the greater good. I am SHOOK. Cheryl gave up that name too easy.
56) Same Veronica Same.
57) PLOT TWIST: Yes Betty! Stick it to the Black Hood, like the queen you are!
58) I love the Serpent side of Betty so much!
Sidenote: Honestly, Bughead is more alike than they seem.
On the surface, Betty seems like this milkshake drinking, perky cheerleader, and Jughead plays the role of brooding outsider amazingly, but their Southside roots clearly can’t be erased. Between FP’s serpent ties and Alice Cooper’s Southside past, Bughead’s love affair is a match made in heaven. Instead of running from it, maybe their gangster ties will lead be the answer to Riverdale’s divide.