It's that time of the year where many of your family members gather round the dinner table to eat good food and enjoy each other's company. Of course, this family time is not always peaceful, thanks to aunts that like to gossip and uncles who think they're always right. Tensions are high this year, especially due to the outcome of the election. Families are at war with each other, people are being unfriended on facebook, and cousins are head-to-head in battle. As a gay Hispanic woman, I know that I will have trouble staying silent at the dinner table among my white, straight family members. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, but sometimes I really want to slap them over the head with a bowl of knowledge. To avoid the possible fallout that may come due to that one uncle who can't leave anything alone, here are seven ways to avoid politics during Thanksgiving.
1. Take a Note from SNL
That's right folks, play some music! Whether it be Adele or some other catchy artist, playing music extremely loud is bound to drown out your Grandpa's slightly racist remarks.
2.Have Your Grandma Threaten Everyone
No one messes with Grandma when she's angry. An angry grandma is a force to be reckoned with. Last time someone made grandma mad, you didn't hear from your uncle for a year. He still flinches if she raises her hand a certain way.
3. Start Screaming Every Time You Hear the Names "Trump" or "Clinton"
Use your powerful vocals to drown out the slight homophobia that your uncle is preaching. We get it Uncle Jake, marriage is sacred. So when are you and your fifth fiance getting married again?
4. Ask Your Family Members Why They Don't Love You
Nothing starts a heartbreaking conversation like asking your Grandma, who promised that they were okay with you being gay, why she continues to spout hatred towards members of the gay community. Yeah, you could have gone your whole life without having this conversation, but it's better than hearing about Trump "making America Great Again."5. Throw Food At People
Nothing stops your least favorite aunt from screaming about "the illegals" than a chunk of mashed potatoes to the face.6. Take Away People's Food
If anyone wants to start an argument, take away their food. If they're so busy talking, they obviously don't have time to eat. Can't let all that food go to waste, can we?7. Ask Your Aunt When She's Going to Divorce Her Fourth Husband
An easy way to stop a fight: start another one. Don't hold back, all those years of the grown-ups ignoring you and having private conversations in front of you have finally worked to your advantage.