Finals week(s) are definitely, without a doubt, the toughest part of the semester for us college kids. With all the stress and fatigue that comes with the preparation of these rigorous- maybe even impossible- exams, I've decided to share some of the coping techniques I've been using to get through the horrendous pain of studying all this useless information. Enjoy!
1. Slam your head on your desk!
Don't do this just once. That won't be effective enough. Try it at a minimum of 7 times per hour for best results. This will for sure distract you from your work and possibly even give you a headache! A headache is always a great excuse to stop studying and take a nap.
2. Throw your laptop at a brick wall!
Try completing assignments or studying without a laptop! It'll be almost impossible! This way, you'll avoid studying efficiently and will have more time to binge watch reality TV and refresh Twitter on your phone constantly for no reason at all. These are more productive uses of your time!
3. Party all night every night of the week!
What better way is there to forget about all your responsibilities than going out for a night of partying! Forget studying, that's not what college is really about! Go out with some friends until 4 a.m. and make sure to participate in illegal activities and make terrible decisions. You'll have great stories to tell your children in the future. Who wants to tell their future son or daughter about all the time they spent studying? Also, if you already completed the first two steps this step should be a piece of cake!
4. Sleep all day!
After a full night of partying you're probably going to be exhausted! It's important to catch up on your rest, even if that means missing all your classes. Attending class is just a suggestion, anyway. Make sure to avoid asking your classmates for notes or important information you may have missed; that'll just stress you out! Just pretend like the class never happened and go back to sleep.
5. Shred all your notes!
Forget notes! Whenever you look at them it probably reminds you of the demon known as academics. Once you shred them, they're gone for good! You'll no longer have to be reminded of dumb classes and jerk professors.
6. Throw all your remaining school supplies into a large body of water!
If you attend a school near the beach, lucky you! This step will be easy for you. Just simply toss all binders, planners, pens, pencils, etc into the ocean. This way all your supplies will be ruined and your chances of getting it back are slim to none! How awesome is that? This strategy ensures stress-free results and guarantees a 0% chance that you will be able to effectively study for your finals! Woohoo!
7. Give up!
Once you've completed the previous 6 steps, you're ready for the final one. In this step, just completely give up and move back in with your parents. Withdraw yourself from the school you attend and just simply never return! How great does that sound! No better way to avoid finals than dropping out of college! This has been proven to be the 100% most effective way to not take your final exams! How amazing!
