Well. That’s, uh, that’s a wrap.

On Sunday, my family and I dropped my younger brother Alex off at college. It wasn’t too traumatic, as he’s going to school in Chicago and can take the train home at any time, but as my Mom so tearfully stated, the second chicken has officially left the flock.

As the older brother, dropping Alex off provided an interesting mix of emotions. I think that, being in college myself, I had quite a few different thoughts whizzing through my head as I helped him unpack into his dorm room, as well as a very different interpretation of his sly responses to my parents’ last minute aphorisms.

So here are 9 thoughts that ran through my head as I dropped my little brother off at college, thoughts that I’m sure many older siblings encounter when their younger siblings embark onto the next big step of their academic (haha) lives.

1. “Wow, when I moved in…”

“Mom cried wayyy more.”

“My room smelled better.”

“These beds weren’t so high.”

“I didn’t have freaking elevators, what the heck.”

“I was so nervous, but like excited— excitedly nervous?”

And so on.

2. “There’s no way these are college freshmen.”

Literally. So. Young. All around us there were nervously-postured teenagers moving around with entourages of parents and other family members, and they all looked so young. But then someone came up to me and asked me if I was excited for freshman year, so I can’t really talk. But still.

3. “Hello, yes, hi, hello, yes I once was a college freshman, hi, yes, I am an experienced wise man, yes, hello.”

You just walk through the dorms with a slight skip in your step, because all that’s floating through your chest is the relief in having already gone through the insanity of the college transition, as well as the confidence that comes with that realization. Kind of made me feel like a professional dog whisperer or something. Like, all the parents are walking their littles freshies down the halls, showing them their new cages, where they go to the bathroom, petting their heads as they wag their bottoms in excitement for college. Funny, really.

4. “Yeah, ok, these beds are lofted way too high.”

Whether it be a party or a night at the bars, I don’t care how acrobatically inclined you may think, younger sibling of mine, but there’s no way you’re climbing that bed while intoxicated.

5. “Ah, jeez, totally not prepared for a new season of Adventures of an Intoxicated College Freshman.”

My parents thought I was just being the little neat freak that I am when organizing my brother’s stuff, and I was, but I couldn’t stop myself from safeguarding his room, altering it to be fit for any drunken stumbles he may have in the near future. So you make sure the doorway is clear, the cabinets are out of the way and contain all the valuables, you know, the works.

6. *Flashbacks*

To when we used to be roommates. To our days as kids, exploring the world together as brothers. To all the stupid, crazy, but beautiful moments that made us who we are, and that molded our relationship since the day you came into the world. I was getting hit with potent memories every couple of minutes, and being in college as well made the flashbacks all the more intense, because you realize just how different life has become, how old everyone is getting. And suddenly you realize that this is the last time you will ever see your brother this way, because college is a machine of change.

7. “I love you so much.”

The emotion always bubbles to the surface in these types of moments, and Sunday was no different. I’m so excited for my brother to learn how to navigate the world on his own, to be see how much he grows.