Before I forget, I want to thank my mom for raising me in the most loving Jewish household. You have given me the family that I want someday and I can only hope I am as good as of an example as you have been for me.
1. You met a boy? Is he Jewish?
The idea of marrying a Jew was engrained in my head since I came out of the womb. I have always wanted to marry a Jewish man when I get older so it isn't an issue. A lot of this has to do with grandchildren and carrying on the tradition of Judaism from generation to generation. In reality, no one would really mind if you married a non-jew, but the kids have to be raised Jewish or else bubbe won't be happy...and no one wants an unhappy bubbe.
2. Make Sure You Wear A Jacket!
One of the worst things you can tell a Jewish mother is that you are cold because all she ever does is tell you to layer up!
3. Bubbala, You Can't Be Buried In A Jewish Cemetery If You Get That Tattoo.
Most Jewish girls had that phase of wanting a hamsa tattoo, but we were all put in reality check by our mom and bubbe. They convinced us it would be a shame not to be buried with the rest of the family just because you got some fakakta tattoo.
4. Why didn't you respond to my 10 texts and 5 calls? Did You Plotz?!
Jewish families tend to be very close and sometimes so close to the point where we want to bite each others heads off! But of course we all know it is out of love. We are taught from a young age to be family oriented and have good communication skills. If you don't respond to a text or call from someone in the family (especially your mother) 30 minutes, then they assume the worst possible situation even if you were just in class.
5. How's The Shabbat At Hillel? Did You Sign Up For Birthright Yet?
As practicing Jews, many of us are taught to continue our values beyond living at home by attending Friday night Shabbat services at Hillel (largest Jewish campus organization in the world). After going to numerous summer camps, most Jews have found a group of people that we have promised to go on Birthright with. What's better than being with all of your friends visiting the homeland on a 10 day free trip?
6. Are you sick? The Whole Family Knows, I Already Got You An Appointment For Today.
Once you tell one family member you are sick, it is suddenly the new word in a game of telephone. After everyone calls to make sure you are alive, the best cure for anything sickness is the infamous matzo ball soup and rest. Preferably the matzoh ball soup from your grandmother's or mother's kitchen, but any kosher deli will do just fine.
7. Did You Eat Enough Today?
Matzoh Ball Soup, Noodle Kugel, Lox, Potato Knishes, Latkes,Challah, Matzoh Brei, Pastrami, DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?
Yiddish for Dummies:
Bubbe- Grandma
Zadie- Grandpa
Fakakta- bad/not working well
Plotz- Collapse
