Hindsight is 20/20 they say, and there are days when I think about how silly I used to be when I was younger. Luckily, I'm able to move on and improve myself now, but there are things I wish I could tell my younger self.
1. Stop worrying so much about self-image.
No matter what age I was, I spent a lot of time worrying about my self-image, as critical beings are often caught up with. Only later in life have I realized how minuscule and unnecessary worrying about self-image was. It is impossible to look like the women that the media portrays as "ideal" and each person and their body was made differently from everyone else; that's what makes us all individuals. So stop worrying about how you look and just have fun.
2. Not getting put on work crew was a blessing in disguise.
One of the most painful days of my life was when I received my first rejection letter from a place that I had always been welcomed at. I had not received a first-year job. This would be the first summer in many years that I did not spend at my camp, my home. However, truly, not getting work crew was such a blessing. You weren't ready. You weren't ready for the responsibility that comes from holding a job, you weren't ready to serve children, families, staff, and directors in the way that was necessary. The three summers it takes to get that job are worth it; you are growing so much.
3. Corpus is that bad.
Sorry, Mom, but younger Hannah is not imagining it's worse than it is. Getting out of Corpus was one of the best things you could do. This doesn't mean I'll never return, just that I needed to leave for a while.
4. Calm down sometimes.
Since elementary school, I have always been high-strung about my assignments, my school supplies, and my books. Calm down, it's OK to take some time to yourself, it's OK to go slowly, and most importantly: it is 100% OK not to get an A every time (something I learned more in high school). Take 3 deep breaths and realize it's not as important as you think it is. It is OK to make mistakes; that's how you learn.
5. Be patient.
You are part of a bigger plan. You can't always see the purpose of certain events, but there is a purpose for each one. Every single moment is important in your life, so cherish each one, live them fully, enjoy them, and be present.
6. Follow your dreams.
It's important to learn early that while people may want to sway your decisions, make all of the big decisions through a careful thought and weighing process. It is your life, your mistakes to make, and your solution to problems. Learning to be the driver of your own life and following your dreams strengthens your resolve and expands your comfort zone so you can start experiencing new things. Find out who you are, be yourself, and most importantly, make wise choices. Even if you need to follow your own dreams, your mothers' statement was always right.
7. Give in to Southwestern sooner.
I know it took until the first full week of school to finally fall in love with school, but please consider Southwestern sooner, and don't be so against it. The campus is beautiful and every professor you've met is wonderful (shout out to Dr. Kilfoyle who is still putting up with me). Southwestern will be the best environment for you; you will learn and expand your horizons so much and learn so many things, you will learn how to research and write properly, you will explore aspects of yourself you never thought possible, you will meet some of the best women you've ever had the chance to encounter (Emily and Maya), and yes it will be hard to be without your first friends at school, but they left such a wonderful legacy and you will become the woman you were meant to be because of their enormous influence on your life, you will become one of the strongest leaders, and you will be proud of every single thing you do at Southwestern. Enjoy it all from start to finish, because the finish comes faster than you think.
Maybe it's my senior nostalgia, but I wish that my younger self knew every single one of these things. They are so important and would have helped me to become a much better woman so much earlier. Put down your phones and be present too; time rushes by and you'll regret missing it otherwise, especially Southwestern.