Rejection, a feeling we've all faced, and something that is impossible to avoid no matter how hard we try. For some of us, the feeling of rejection is few and far. For others, it's a feeling that never goes away.
What does rejection look like?
It's when someone friend-zones you. It's when you're denied admission to your dream college. It's when an internship or job you applied for sends you an email along the lines of, “We want to thank you for your interest in (insert job or internship title). We had many fine applications for the position, including you. However, we have filled the position with someone whose background and credentials we feel best meet our needs at this time." Or, in my case, it's when every job and internship you applied for sends you that dreaded email. It's when you feel like you're not good enough.
If you've never felt the amount of rejection I have, cheers to you; you're lucky. If rejection is a common feeling, I know how you feel.
It doesn't matter what you were rejected from because each rejection hurts just as much. It doesn't matter how many times someone tells you, "Don't give up, it will all work out," because you're just waiting for that next rejection letter to pop-up in your email.
From all the rejection I have experienced throughout my life, this is what I have learned:
1. It severely damages your self-esteem.
It's difficult watching your peers succeed in everything they do. You want to support them and cheer them on, but you can't help but feel jealous of the success they have achieved.
Whether it's the girl who has a stand-out resume packed with intense, high-profile internships, or the guy who got the acceptance letter to your dream college, you compare yourself to other people regularly, and often ask the questions, "Why can't I be as successful as they are? What am I doing wrong?" Getting rejected regularly shatters your confidence.
You get to the point where you walk into every job interview feeling hopeless, on the verge of asking the interviewer, "Can you just reject me already and get this over with?"
2. A common question is, "What's the point?"
What's the point of spending thousands of dollars to get a college degree if you're going to be unemployed after college because you don't have enough experience to get a job? What's the point of applying to internships and jobs if you're going to get the same basic and boring rejection email time and time again? What's the point of believing in yourself when it doesn't matter? What's the point of even trying when you're always going to feel inferior to other people?
3. You can't avoid it.
Even when you're in your prime and on cloud nine, rejection sneaks up on you. It appears in various ways and makes you feel just as shitty every time.
4. Jealousy is the epitome of evil.
What I would give to remember the last time I wasn't jealous of someone.
5. It makes you stronger.
No matter how many times you want to give up and say, "fuck it," you don't. While at times you'd rather hide in your turtle shell, you push through the obstacles and keep trying. You have the thickest skin around because you know what it feels like to be rejected, and you toughen up because you know that you're going to keep getting rejected whether you like it or not. When it feels like the whole world is against you and wants to watch you fail, you put on your big-girl pants and move on.
6. Having a backup plan is crucial.
I can't tell you how many times I've read an interview where a Hollywood actor says something like, "Acting was my only plan. I didn't have anything to fall back on because I wanted to focus all my attention on making this work." While I admire their determination and belief in a happy ending, I've learned that things usually don't work out the way you planned, and having a backup plan is crucial if you're ever going to amount to anything.
If I had my heart set on one internship and didn't apply to any others, I would have been deeply disappointed when I realized that I had nothing to fall back on and fill the void. Obviously, I felt more pain in the long-run because I got rejected from them all, but at least I made an attempt at exploring other options. If you don't have a backup plan and something doesn't work out the way you wanted, you really are going to have nothing.
7. You have to keep your head up.
Whether you like it or not, you're going to get rejected at some point throughout your life. If you're anything like me, you're never going to stop getting rejected. I'm not going to sugar-coat it and say that rejection is easy because it's not.
A feeling of rejection is something I wouldn't wish on anyone because it destroys your confidence and self-esteem and makes you feel unworthy. Rejection sucks, but you can't give up on yourself. Just because someone didn't see potential in you doesn't mean you're hopeless or damaged. Just because someone might be better than you or more qualified for this or that doesn't mean you're not talented. You have to take rejection with a grain of salt and move on, realizing that if God wanted you to have something, you would have it.
