I have white friends and every time race is brought up, tension and awkward-ness arises. Instead of staying quiet, I want my white friends to know a few things.
1. I don't hate you.
Just because I talk about the systemic racism white people have brought upon people of color throughout history does not mean I suddenly hate you. You cannot undo what has happened and it's not your obligation to. What I ask of you is to just listen to what I'm saying and accept the fact that your people have done wrong. No need to feel targeted.
2. White privilege does exist.
As much as you hate to hear it, just because you're white, you have privilege over me. Yes, there are many types of privileges, but I have greatly been affected by white privilege in my experiences more often and I will continue to talk about it. In order for me to feel a part of this world, I need to understand my oppression in order to move forward.
3. Do not deny my experiences.
When I talk about white privilege and how it has affected me, please don't try to defend yourself. My experiences are about me and do not need to be justified by you because they are my experiences. As a friend, I expect you to accept my adversity even if you don't like to hear it.
4. Act as an ally.
Since you don't have the same experiences as me and I do not expect you to understand them, act as an ally. When you hear racist comments shut that person down, stand up for me because that's what I expect from a friend. Make an effort to learn more about deep oppression people of color go through because I am those oppressed people. Take a race and ethnic studies class, attend a black lives matter march, surround yourself with woke people or even ask me what my experiences are like.
5. Be uncomfortable.
Don't shy away from conversations about race and white privilege; doing that shows me that you're denying my adversities. Talk about race and how your people have taken control of America and make decisions in their favor, even if it makes you uncomfortable.
6. Yes, everything is about race.
I "bring race into everything" because everything has to do with race. Whether it's the education system, the workforce or politics, there is always some aspect of race. So yes, I will talk about race and will continue to because that is what I am passionate about. I strive to create equitable environments everywhere I go and that means bringing up race and how people of color are affected by these crooked systems.
7. You are allowed to have an opinion.
When I talk about controversial topics, it's OK to disagree with me. Never silence your point of view because as friends, communication is key and I believe that your perspective is important to understand too. Together we can work to be equal and that starts with conversation.
